Sharing God's Messages

I think I can now share some of the events surrounding the time around Jason's death that I believe happened to bring me peace. I have heard all my life people say that they knew that God had given them a personal message, but truthfully I don't think I ever believed them. I thought they had experienced coincidences that they were attributing to God. I don't think that anymore. I've already said that Jason called the morning he died, and we had a nice conversation. Nothing special--just typical, but the important thing is I heard his voice one last time, and it was a happy voice. He asked about his dad and his new healthy diet, my classes, both the ones I teach and the ones I am taking, he asked about Allison and Carson, Janna and the girls, Evan--has he played any games, does Janna get to go watch him play? We laughed that he was playing golf in a tournament--I wish I had known it would have been the last time I would ever hear his voice, but that would have changed the conversation--made it artificial, unreal. What that call has done is make me value every conversation I have with the people I love. I won't be cavalier about my relationships ever again. I won't take my friends and family for granted.
Carson went to a concert at the OKC Zoo Saturday evening with plans to spend the night in OKC with Nick French. I had talked for a long time to Allison that afternoon, and she told me she was home alone and kind of enjoying it. We're alike in that way. I love to have time home alone on occasion. I would not like it all the time, but about once or twice a month, I like to have an afternoon or evening to myself. When we got that "knock" on the door at 3:00 AM and realized that we were going to have to tell our children the worst news of their lives, we believed Allison was going to be home alone, and Carson was going to be on the other side of OKC at Nick's. I wanted to drive to them, but Tony said he would make the calls. He called Allison first, but her phone was turned off. He called Carson next, and he answered. What we didn't know was that Saturday night Carson decided to drive back to Stillwater instead of staying in OKC. He had three tests the next week and needed to study on Sunday. Instead of them having to both drive down here, little brother made another huge step into manhood and drove big sister safely to our house. I am so richly blessed that my children are not only siblings but also friends. Jason was close to Allison and Carson--a gift that I will cherish for the remainder of my life. I know Carson may not realize it, but I believe the Holy Spirit of God told him to return to Stillwater because he was going to be needed there. I'm so thankful he listened.
On Sunday following Jason's accident, my cousin Becky called to cry with me. She told me that she woke up at 3:00 AM. Her first thought was that she needed to pray, but she had no idea for whom. She has two boys in college at OU, so that was her first thought. She just asked God to hear her prayer and take care of whoever she was supposed to be praying for. It was at that exact moment that the sheriff's deputies knocked on our door. I can tell you that the news of Jason's death knocked me to the floor, but I got up. I believe I got up because Becky was interceding in my behalf. I want to have that tender spirit that listens to God's voice and reaches out to others who need Him.