Meanwhile

Phillipians 1: 27-30
Meanwhile, live in such a way that you are a credit to the Message of Christ.

I wrote last night that I had relived the week of Jason's death. I have tried to revisit the funeral--remember the music, the words of hope, the feeling of peace that I left the service with.
Shawn Jeffcoat and my nephew Marty made us laugh and cry with their memories of growing up with Jason, Jamie's song gave comfort to us, but it was Jimmy's message that I keep going back to. He said, "Jason is more alive now than he has ever been. " That's something I can hold on to. I can't quote the other statement that gave me peace, but it said something like--We think we are living in the land of the living headed for the land of the dying, but actually we are living in the land of the dying headed for the land of the living.
I have had enough of death--Freddy, Momma, Phyllis, Daddy, Linda, and now the unthinkable, Jason. I want to live in a place that death can't reach. Meanwhile, I must remain in this world. I can be certain that death will come to our family again--we can't escape it. In the ideal scenerio everyone will live to a ripe old age and go out after a long, healthy life, but this world is not ideal.
Pray for me that I won't become bitter, angry, hopeless--that I will live in such a way that I am "a credit to the message of Christ."