Live it Up, Sharyl.

I'm going to have to start blogging more often because I don't want to only write when someone dies. It seems that certain people in my life deserve more than a card to their family or a check to a charity.
My friend Sharyl Patten entered heaven this afternoon after a three year battle with cancer. Once again I'm sitting here thinking back on all the connections I have with someone who has left this life way too early.
I don't remember a time when I didn't know Sharyl. She was one of my sister Phyllis's best friends, so as a kid, I tagged along with Phyllis and Sharyl so that I could play with Sharyl's sister, LuAnne. After they married, Phyllis and her husband were friends with Sharyl and Dave, and I remember them being at my mom and dad's playing cards or wahoo or dominos. The one night I remember best was the night Lori (less than 2 yrs old) was sitting in Dave's lap at the card table, and she bit the living daylights out of him. He took her out of the room to spank her, but none of us knew why, and he was so mad that it took him a while to tell us. Awkward. We thought he had lost his mind.
If I remember right, Sharyl was my niece Janna's babysitter for a while after Phyllis went to work. Then when I married into the Humphrey family, I learned that Sharyl was a life-long friend to Tony's family. Their families go back a couple of generations. Tony's dad and Sharyl's dad were best friends.
Years ago Sharyl went on a couple of ski trips together with Mary Trahan, my sister-in-law Cindy and our kids and their friends. Carson and Jason were so very impressed with her because she was such an awesome skier. She was fun to travel with and a very good sport when we stayed in the worst motel in Colorado in Del Norte.

When Sharyl was diagnosed with cancer three years ago, I was just sick, but I really thought that if anyone could beat it, she could. I hate this evil disease.
I've been thinking all afternoon about what Sharyl is experiencing right now. Barney, Phyllis, Jason and many others are welcoming her to paradise. There's no chance that the room she had been assigned is anything but perfect. That motel in Colorado was so bad that they actually gave us a room because there wasn't room for all of us in the two rooms we had reserved. Her room in heaven is perfect--clean, safe, comfortable--just the opposite of the Del Norte room with the smelly carpet, hollow core outside door, tiny bathroom, uncomfortable beds.
As I've said often, I don't believe in Rest In Peace for a believer. Live it up! Sharyl. No more pain, no more cancer, no more chemo, no more radiation, no more stomach issues, no more procedures. Her glorified body entered heaven whole and healthy. She's breathing the freshest air imaginable (probably in the mountains of heaven). I've told this story to several people, but I have to share it with her family. I read this analogy in a book recently. If a thousand years is like a day and day is a thousand years in the Lord as the scripture says, Sharyl will only be in heaven minutes before all of us join her. That blessed my heart because I have a hard time thinking of Jason waiting for all of us. If we do the math, he's only been there a few minutes.
To her family, my heart is sad for you. Your loss is great and anything I say will not lessen that pain right now. You have all been so tough and faithful to Sharyl during her illness. You have some really long days and nights ahead. Hold tight to one another to God. It's the only thing that works. Love you all.

Memory lane.

I finished decorating my house for Christmas today. I put up some decorations before Thanksgiving and finished today. My Christmas ornaments took me down memory lane. Three years ago, I couldn't even decorate my tree. My friends Toni and Mel came over and did it for me. It's taken three years for me to be able to decorate it without crying, so I'm feeling really proud of myself today.
I collect ornaments, mostly Hallmark, but I have many, many that have been accumulated in a life of 57 years.
My oldest ornaments are from my childhood. There was a box of ornaments in my Mom's attic that she quit using. I latched on to them because I just couldn't stand to see them thrown out. I'm so glad I did. They are a little faded, and because Mom always sprayed her tree with that canned snow stuff, they have some marks on them, but I love them.
I started buying ornaments for Jason in 1977 when we moved to Wellston. There are three little elves and an ornament hanger that I bought for him at Terry's Drug.
Then I have all the homemade ornaments. The little ceramic ones made by Granny Violet for the kids, the plastic canvas ones made by my mom, the crafts Linda made that made us laugh and laugh. My sister Linda was almost blind, but she continued to make crafts at Christmas. Her ornaments were always so funny. One has a deer glued into an acorn shell, but the deer is facing backward. God love her; she never gave up.
I have some really sweet ones that were given to my kids as gifts. Allison's first Christmas ornaments came from relatives in Texas and Tony's cousin Jim who lived in Germany at the time. The Texans sent a Dumbo and Goofy for Jason and a "Baby's First Christmas" ball for Allison, and the ones from Jim are a little tiny baby in a cradle, a rocking horse, and a teddy bear. The year Carson was born, my friend Teresa Smith made a set of ornaments for the kids with their picture in it.
When Allison was two I started buying Hallmark ornaments-one for each member of the family. I don't buy them until after Christmas, and I try to get something that will reflect something in that year for each kid. Mine and Tony's are the series ones. Football players, basketball players, baseball players, cowboys and cowgirls, cheerleaders, golfers, skiers--do you see a trend here? Since we have had Lucy, I have bought a dog ornament for her, so we now have twelve of those. Add that up. 29 x 4, plus 24 x 1 plus 12 x 1. I don't want to know how much I have spent at Hallmark the day after Christmas. I have several OSU ornaments that were either gifts or that I purchased myself. I also have some gifts that make me think of a person who was in my life for a season, former students, friends I don't see much any more, colleagues. I wonder if I will always remember who these things come from. Right now I do.
I buy an ornament when I travel. This year I added a moose from Durango and a guitar from Graceland. My most expensive ornaments are a recent collection. I have about five White House ornaments. They are absolutely beautiful and worth the splurge.
I have three brass snowflakes that Cooper's Funeral Home gives to the families who have lost a loved one the previous year. I hope I don't get any more of those for a while. I have Mom's, Dad's, and Jason's. I have two of the "I'm spending Christmas in Heaven this Year" ornaments given to me the year Jason died, and a beautiful hand-painted horse and rider that one of Jason's friends sent to me that year. I made some Pray-for-Us ornaments with Jason's picture in a clear ball that I gave to his friends so that they would always remember us at Christmas time.
My tree is full, probably too full, but I just can't make myself get a second tree. I also can't make myself give the ornaments to the kids. That was the original intention. I'm so glad I didn't give Jason's to him. If I had, there's no telling where they would have ended up. Sorry, Allison and Carson. These are staying at my house. I'll eventually have to divide them up, but it won't be for many, many years.

Online Church

Several years ago a young preacher told us that the next generation of believers would be doing church "online." I hated that idea then, and I still hate it today because I believe strongly in the relationships that "real" church provides. Last week a friend told me of a sermon to listen to called "Disappointed in Jesus," so I listened to that sermon; then I saw that the same minister had a series of five sermons on heaven, so I listen to those; then I saw a couple of other titles that intrigued me, so I listened to those. Don't get me wrong, they do not take the place of "real church" for me, and the relationships that I have with the people in my Sunday School class are vital to my well-being, but I really like having these sermons available to me when I'm having trouble sleeping or when I wake up way too early to start my day or when I'm sitting watching television and realize that the subject matter of the program is really inappropriate for a believer. That's happening more and more lately; I'm not sure if the programming is worse or if I'm getting more sensitive to the garbage that the networks are doling out. This week I've listened to nine sermons when I count the one I heard at church this morning. That's pretty neat especially because I was able to pick and choose the topics that interested me.
The website is gatewaypeople.com, and the minister's name is Brady Boyd. I think I'll start with the b's and just work my way through these folks first. I loved the five sermons on heaven because he would take a verse that reveals something about heaven and use that little nugget to teach a truth that gave peace to my heart. There are as many of my immediate family in heaven as there are here on earth, so heaven is of great interest to me. He did not read one scripture that I have not already read in those sermons, but he opened my mind with his take on what the scriptures tell us about heaven. I'm going to have to eat some words about how awful I thought online church would be. What I love most is that the internet can be used for such harmful, awful things, but Christians can claim it for God and advance His kingdom with Biblical, sound teaching. Pretty cool.

Cheerleaders

This message is for:
All Tecumseh Cheerleaders from 1991-1999, Jennifer Cox, Toni Henry, Cindy Hale, Amy Sampson...

Yesterday and today I have been traveling down memory lane through cheerleading uniforms of days gone by. As you know I am coaching 9th grade cheerleaders who were issued one uniform. That's right, one uniform. I did some investigating and discovered that there is a box in the deep recessed of the maintainence garage. This box is about 4 feet tall, three feet deep, and 5 feet wide. It is full of cheerleading and dance team uniforms from the 90's.
Every uniform is connected to a group of girls that I have "mostly" fond memories of. The funniest thing was that as I was sorting them, I was calling them what the squads that wore them called them. The White T, Zig-Zag, THS (they loved that one because it was so comfortable, SAVAGES (they hated this one because it rubbed under the arm pits). I loved it because it was so pretty, but it was a very expensive top. The lettering on it cost as much as the top. The very first one I remember connected with me was a black and gold with very small white piping, but it had no emblem. I don't know why we didn't get an emblem for that one.
Some of the epic fail uniforms were there. The white dress that the dance team wore in 98,
the crop top that was so thick and stiff that nobody wanted to wear it, again the one that rubbed the arms, the knit jacket that looked sharp but was almost too hot to cheer in, the knit sleeves that were meant to be worn under the sleeveless top, the black body suit that was also miserable to wear.
I took several tops for my cheerleaders; tops are classic-they never go out of style. Skirts, on the other hand, do. Girls today do NOT wear pleated skirts. There are black ones, white ones, box pleated ones, fly away ones, three pleat ones (the freshmen are going to wear those). Some have trim on the bottom, some on the sides. Some trim is black-white-gold-white-black, some black-white-black, gold-black-gold, etc. You get the picture. Anyone but me would have looked in that box and separated them out into black and white skirts, but I knew exactly which top went with which skirt-by the trim. I took about five tops and two skirts for my girls and three jackets. You would have thought it was Christmas yesterday. One of the girls even said, "This is legit." Yeah, yesterday was a good day. Monday will be better because I worked on the skirts that didn't fit, so now they also have a solid black three pleat skirt and a white skirt.

Another deposit in heaven

Tecumseh made another deposit in heaven today. Natalie Wood O'Dell went to heaven about 6:00 leaving behind her two daughters and precious grandchildren, her parents, nieces, and many, many friends. Natalie was only 49 years old and Cancer stole her from us. We have worked together on Relay where Natalie was in charge of the Survivor dinner. She wanted so much to live, and she was such a positive survivor. When the cancer came back, she fought once again, but she just couldn't beat the demonic disease.
Jason liked Natalie. Her nieces were his good friends, and she was always at ag events and ballgames, supporting him and his friends.
Natalie had a great laugh. She will be remembered for that laugh--evidence of her love of life. She loved Jesus and her family. She shouldn't be gone; she joins so many who have entered heaven too soon from our perspective. If Jason didn't immediately know she was in heaven, she probably laughed at something Jesus said, and Jason heard her and came running to show her around. I'm a little jealous. I can imagine Jason meeting her with a smile, a tease, and pride. He's probably saying, "Come on, you've got to see this place. Let me show you my horse. He's better than any I ever owned down there."
My heart aches for Kirby, Kayla, Brandy, and Jennie. They all love her so much. Her grandbabies have been cheated. I've said it before, and I'll repeat it. I Hate Cancer!!

Going through "stuff"

I started a project today that I have put off for two years and ten months. I've been going through Jason's "stuff." His wonderful friends in Nebraska packed up his things, and we stored them in a spare bedroom. We've gotten a few things out of there, but for the most part everything has remained the same as when we first placed it in there. Now comes the question, What do I do with all of this "stuff"?
I pulled out ballcaps and have been washing them in the dishwasher today. I condensed all of the shirts and jackets in one bin and all of the jeans in another. I pulled out all underwear, socks, sweats, etc. and will decide later what to do with them. I condensed all leather stuff, chaps, bridles, boots into one bin. I pulled out all OSU t-shirts. I already know what I'm doing with those. I'm making myself a quilt or throw out of those. I will take my time, quilt around all of the designs, and maybe use some of the jeans to make dividers. Even if it takes me months to finish, it will be a labor of love. It will be the kind of quilt that I will be able to put on the floor and let babies crawl on or take to a ballgame to sit on or place over your legs.
I've never been one to make a shrine to someone I've lost, but I think it's time to make a place for Jason's most valuable treasures. The belt buckles, spurs, and a couple of plaques and pictures are going to go into my China cabinet. I have a cowboy hat that I will probably have steamed and cleaned to put there. I have to be careful. I don't want to make everyone sad when they walk into my house, but I have to honor him. It's not like his memory ever leaves our minds.
I'm open to suggestions.

Education Funding

I went to my very first protest today in Oklahoma City. We met outside the Cox Center to try to draw attention to the bleak future of public education in Oklahoma.
Let me just state some of the thoughts that have been going through my mind and reveal some of the arguments I heard today against the State Superintendent of Public Instruction in Oklahoma.
Dr. Baressi is a dentist who thinks she has the answers that will fix the problem in public education in Oklahoma. At this point all we have heard from her office since she began her term is how much reform is needed to fix education. I talked to two friends who are administrators in a different school district. Both of them said that they can't get information from the State Department. Everything seems to be shrouded in secrecy. Is it secrecy, or is it possible that nobody really knows what needs to be done? Is it possible that now that her people have found out the parameters that they must work under, they realize that they don't really have a plan?
We all know that there are some changes that need to be made, but our current state administration seems to believe that we should be able to do more with less, so they release mandates and cut programs that help schools meet the mandates.
One of the decisions Dr. Baressi has made is to cut out the National Board bonus that the state promised to pay. I know that she (like all politicians) will say that cuts have to be made, but why NBCT? The state agreed to pay $5000 per year to any teacher who successfully went through the National Certification process. This certification is over and above the required Oklahoma certification requirements. I spent one year examining my teaching practices and evaluating everything I do in my classroom to see if it measures up to the best practices in education. I videotaped my lessons, prepared a portfolio, and took subject matter examinations to prove that I was worthy to wear the NBCT label. I did my part. A couple of weeks ago we learned that the remaining bonuses will not be paid. I'm at the end of my ten year certification, so it will not impact me as much as some of the people who have been recently certified. My heart breaks for them. Some of them will not find out until November if they achieved certification, but instead of getting a $5000 bonus in January, they will get a certificate to hang on the wall. Not the same, is it?
I listened to various stories today that I will now share.
Some teachers decided to pursue National Board instead of getting a master's because it would be more financially profitable. Now, time has passed, and they do not have a master's, and they get nothing for being NBCT.
One teacher said that it has taken eleven years for her to get to the regular teacher salary that she made in Georgia eleven years ago. That was her reason for going after National Board. She wanted to get closer to her previous salary.
The state of Oklahoma spends almost four times each year to incarcerate a prisoner than it does to educate a child.
Dr. Baressi stated that she hoped the local district would honor the $5000 bonus. I did not make an agreement with my local district. They only way the local district can do that is to cut other areas. In our district the number of NBCTs are about the equivalent of two beginning teacher salaries. If we use that money, every teacher and student in our district will suffer with larger class sizes. I do not know one teacher who is willing to do that to our district.
According to one teacher today, the schools have been told that they can use money earmarked for textbooks to pay the bonuses. Really? We're going to continue to use old textbooks...that's not too big a problem in my area. Literature doesn't change, but let a science or history teacher use a textbook for fourteen years instead of the usual seven years, and students will be shortchanged.
Next to my faith, my conviction in free public education is a cornerstone of my belief system. I believe that every American student should be provided with opportunity. Opportunity is provided through education. Quality education costs money.
I left Oklahoma City today feeling very frustrated, but I've decided that I will continue to be vocal. This was just step one.