II Timothy 1:3-4
Every time I say your name in prayer--which is practically all the time--I thank God for you, the God I worship with my whole life in the tradition of my ancestors. I miss you a lot, especially when I remember that last tearful goodbye, and I look forward to a joy-packed reunion.
These verses could have been written by me about Jason. I still say his name in prayer, but I don't have to pray for his physical, emotional, or spiritual well-being. Those things are secure in heaven. Now his name is mentioned in thanks. I thank God for the thirty-three years of Jason's life, for the good friends he had, for his faith, for the ways he blessed us. The last tearful goodbye wasn't when he left in July to go back to Nebraska. It was evident to me during his visit that he was happy there. Our tearful goodbye came when he went to heaven. I didn't think I would ever stop crying; just about the time I thought I had no more tears, they would start again. I still cry often, but not daily anymore. I cry at unexpected moments now, no warning-just tears. The things that I thought would make me cry do not, but the dumbest things will trigger tears. I can't explain it, and I really don't want to.
The thing I really have to hold on to is that joy-packed reunion. I remember my cousin Carolyn saying, "Heaven will be so much sweeter for you now." That is true. I already had several relatives in heaven, but none that I want to see as much as I want to see Jason.