Gift after gift after gift

John 1:16-18

We all live off his generous bounty,
gift after gift after gift.
We got the basics from Moses,
and then this exuberant giving and receiving,
This endless knowing and understanding--
all this came through Jesus, the Messiah.
No one has ever seen God,
not so much as a glimpse.
This one-of-a-kind God-Expression,
who exists at the very heart of the Father,
has made him plain as day.

I know I have received gifts from God all my life. My health, my family, my friends, and my salvation, so why am I feeling such discouragement. I think I have been so busy since Jason's death that this time off is giving me too much time to think. Last week was busy because I was getting ready for Christmas and celebrating in several locations. Yesterday I was busy; I took down Christmas decorations and cleaned out the closet that I keep the Christmas stuff in. That's what I want to get accomplished during the break. I want to clean out closets and do away with the excess stuff in my house. Today, I did nothing. It may be the first day since the day of Jason's death that I have just sat, watched television, read and slept. I felt horrible-lazy, depressed, yukky. (Is that a word?) I learned a valuable lesson. I must keep busy. I have to have a reason to get moving every morning. One of the things I have read about grief is that it helps to keep busy, but just like with everything else, I have to find out for myself. I can't learn from the experience of others; I have to learn everything the hard way.