Saturday, December 5, 2009

The house is ready for Christmas, but I'm not.

I made a big step this weekend toward getting ready for Christmas. I decorated the house and put up the tree, but I can't seem to get myself in the mood. I'm better than I was last year because I was able to put up the tree myself instead of calling on friends to do it, but every time I go shopping, I just walk around and look at stuff. I don't buy anything. I haven't seen anything out there that shouts, "This would be great for __________."
Tonight I've watched a couple of Christmas movies; I've been listening to Christmas music; I plan to see The Best Little Christmas Pageant Ever next week. I'm trying.
Next weekend I'll go shopping for our Adopt-a-family project. We will buy for about 20 kids. That always makes me feel good.
I hope tomorrow they will sing carols at church. I have to be reminded every minute that everything is never going to be the way I want it to be, but I can still be happy and enjoy my family throughout the holidays. I have to be reminded that others are counting on me to rejoice; many people in this world are hurting in worse ways than I am. I have to be reminded that Jason is in heaven, a real place.

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