Appropriate, who cares?

I'm going to Hobby Lobby this afternoon to buy orange, black and white flowers to place on Jason's headstone. I already have some OSU stuff to put on it. It's time for OSU football, so the strange thing I'm going to do is decorate Jason's headstone with Go Pokes stuff. If I can figure out how to post a picture, I will (that's a hint for you Mel).
Thinking about cowboy football without Jason to talk to is rough. Of course, we've already been down that road because there was plenty of Cowboy football last year after Sept. 20th, but I really don't remember anything about those first few months. I had so much business to take care of, and my grief was so raw that I literally just went through the paces of each day.
I keep having people tell me that they pray for me every day. I am so humbled by that knowledge. I'm also ashamed of myself when I think about the people who have "dropped off" of my prayer list. I've learned so much about prayer this year. I will be the first to admit that I have become cynical about prayer. I prayed so hard for my sister Phyllis to be healed. When she died, I decided that God didn't change the course of someone's fate very often. I decided that our prayers didn't matter much. I used to write in a prayer journal each morning before Jason died. I haven't read the entries or written in it since his death. Every single morning I asked God to keep my children safe from physical, emotional, and spiritual harm, but he died in a horrible accident.
I have been praying for my bosses, James Blue and Roy Capps, who are both battling cancer. Mr. Blue's wife has been writing a blog daily that gives us specific things to pray for, Type A blood donors, Ensure, heating pads, relief from chronic cough, etc. and our prayers have been answered through the people who read her blog. Five blood donors on American military bases in Korea, Ensure of every flavor delivered to Seoul by a Korean missionary couple, 30-50 minute radiation treatments with no coughing and much needed rest for both Mr. Blue and his wife. I'm so honored to be a part of seeing God work through people.
Hearing that people continue to pray for us is humbling, but it does explain how we have not allowed our family to be destroyed by this tragedy. I'm going to be more diligent is keeping people on my prayer list longer. No matter what we face in life, it seldom ends as quickly as we would like. Illness, heartache, and tragedy have residual problems that linger long after the event is over. Thank you to all who have continued to pray for us. Don't stop now; September is going to be a challenge for our family. We need your prayers and God's blessings to flow.