Acting as if...

I'm reading C. S. Lewis's book Mere Christianity, again. I've started it several times, but recently my pastor told us to read it, so I've been working my way through it for several weeks. It is not the kind of book I can read quickly. I read a chapter, put it down and think about it for a couple of days, then read another chapter, and so on.
Several times in his book, he tells Christians to act as if... If we don't feel charitible, we should act as if we do. If we don't feel forgiving toward someone, we should act as if we do. If we don't have the faith that we should have, we should act as if we do. At first glance this seems so fake to me. I want to be real with people, but being real is not always a good witness. My real self isn't always Christlike, so I have to fake it until I make it.
What is truly amazing to me is that if I fake it long enough, I begin to see a change in my attitude. I begin genuinely feeling the forgiveness or the charity toward others. C. S Lewis is right; we are flawed humans with flawed emotions, but we can fight that sin nature with God's help. Admitting that we have this nature is step one.
I'm putting his suggestion to the test. Right now I don't feel happy, so I'm faking it. I know that Jason wouldn't want me to be sad all the time, so I put my grief away each day. I still have my moments, usually in the evening, when something reminds me of my loss, but the moments are getting shorter and less painful.
Last night I had my first dream about Jason. He came to visit us with a precious little gray and white puppy (aren't dreams weird?). The dream didn't make me sad; it was like he had visited us for a couple of hours. Nothing significant happened--just a visit--but it was my Jason very much like he was that last year he was here with us. I've been waiting for that dream.