Ashamed

I went to a small graveside service of one of Tony's classmates today. She had suffered from fibromyalgia and apparently heart trouble for some time, and she died of a heart attack.
Something that happened at the service has made me so ashamed of myself. I have so many regrets from high school, but the one that haunts me the most is that I didn't reveal my faith to my friends. If you could see the Bible I had during these bleak years, you would see evidence that I read it. There are passages underlined, notes, but for some reason, I thought it wouldn't matter if I went my own way for a few years.
At the end of the service, the moderator gave people in the audience an opportunity to speak. One of the girls in Tony's class spoke for about eight of us who were standing together. She stated that all of us know the Lord now but that we didn't know Him in high school. What I am most ashamed of is that I did know the Lord when I was in high school, but there was no evidence of that in my behavior.
My mother took me to church for as long as I can remember. I was saved and baptized when I was about eight, I went to church, church camp, vbs, I even taught VBS, but I did not live like a Christ follower from the time I was about 13 until I was 27. During those years, I knew that God had not left me, I felt His presence and felt the presence of the Holy Spirit trying to get my attention, but I ignored Him.
I can't look back on those years with fondness because I missed out on the opportunity to reach some of the most important people in my life. How could I expect them to follow Jesus when I was such a poor witness.
Many of the people that I work with have been those people who never strayed. How did they do that? Why was I so weak? I was even somewhat embarrassed about the fact that I went to church all the time, probably because if anyone had seen me walking in the door, they would have thought, "What's SHE doing going to church?"
I remember being able to answer all the Biblical allusion questions in literature, and people would always be surprised that I knew all of that stuff.
There are several of my friends who are like me. We made some very important decisions during our "silly season" and we have lived with the consequences. I hope my lack of courage to share and reveal my faith does not have eternal consequences.