Today's sermon--So meaningful on all levels.

Jimmy has been preaching a sermon series about being connected to the Holy Spirit. Today's sermon spoke to me on so many levels. The heart of the sermon is that by human nature, we are prone to be divisive. In church, at home, at work, we are prone to be divisive, but if we are connected as we should be to the Holy Spirit, we can overcome that divisiveness.
His outline stated that connected people are unified. To be unified we have to think beyond ourselves. Our nature is to be selfish, but if we are serious about building a healthy church, we think beyond ourselves. The music at our church is very contemporary, very loud, completely outside the comfort zone of some of the older people in the church, but it is bringing unchurched people to church. That is what I'm talking about; it's not about me; I'm saved: I'm on my way to heaven. The music shouldn't be pleasing to me (although it is) it should reach out to the people who need Jesus.
Connected people sacrifice. We need to sacrifice our time, money, opinions, attitudes, feelings.
Connected people are authentic with God. There really isn't any other way to be. Quoting my favorite American literary character, "You can't pray a lie." Huck knew, and we should know. God knows our hearts, so we must be completely open with Him.
Last, connected people fear God. That is really the only healthy fear we should have.
Jimmy was talking today about building a healthy church, but I couldn't help thinking about how all of this is true of building a healthy family.
I have several friends who do not speak to their siblings. They are divided by family drama, money, old resentments, etc. Most of these families do not attend church, so I can always say that they need Jesus, but in reality I've also known Christian families who are not united.
As a child I was exposed to two kinds of families. My dad's family was pretty shattered. He spoke to some of his brothers, but not others; He had two sisters, but he didn't see them often. I don't really think he had disagreements with them; he just wasn't close. I only remember him having a close relationship to Gene and Jimmy. He didn't talk bad about the other brothers much; he just didn't go out of his way to spend time with them.
On the other hand, my mom's family was the most united group of people I have ever known. My mom and dad got along with all of my mom's siblings and their spouses. Mom knew all my cousins and their kids, and we knew all of our aunts and uncles well. They were all Christian, but of different denominations. We had Methodist, Baptist, Free Will Baptist, Assembly of God, and Pentecostal. I remember once when I was a kid, we all went to some lake and stayed in a church cabin for several days. We had church on Sunday morning, and it was the real deal. What a witness to me. I believed that the difference between the two families was that Mom's family was Christian and Dad's family was not. I know today that that was not necessarily the case because I know Christian families who do not get along.
I know it has to break God's heart to see families and churches be divided. I can't imagine the pain I would feel if my kids didn't get along. They may not always agree, but they are close. I realize as I get older and witness more and more families, it is not enough for me to pray that my kids marry well; it is also important that they marry people who can get along with one another. I love my sisters-in-law. Peggy and Cindy are like my sisters. I enjoy spending time with Phyllis's widower, Fred, and my brother-in-law, Randy. I love all their kids. That is such a rich blessing and a heritage that is priceless to me.

Back to school

This is my last weekend before inservice starts. This Wed. we go back to the routine that keeps us busy for nine months of the year. Have I made good use of my time this summer? I have spent a lot of my time studying for my three classes, playing on the computer, hanging out with my kids, just goofing off. I hope there is not a pie chart in heaven that shows how I spent my life here on earth.
I am fairly comfortable with my time-management during the school year, but during summer, not so much.
Usually I am ready for school to start back. This year since, I finished summer school on July 28th, and return to school on August 5th, I'm not ready. There are too many big jobs that I had to leave undone. Oh well, there's always next summer.

Tests

Several of our friends and family are facing some of life's greatest tests. I thought that I had been tested before, but losing Jason has been the greatest test of my life. I am determined that I will pass this test. I will remain faithful to the God of creation, I will not give in to the sadness that tries to overcome me, I will continue to be a happy person, I will be the example for my other kids.
What is amazing is that so many of our friends and family are having to "buck up" and face a test themselves. Cancer diagnoses--unexpected divorce, financial loss, death, long-term illness, accidents, loss of home; the list goes on and on.
What is the difference in how we handle these hardships? I may be prejudiced, but I have to admire the way people of faith deal with life.
I know I can never go back to the time before Jason's death, but I will not let his death define me. I have heard statements like, "Well _________has never been the same since__________died."
I will not let my kids say, "Mom was a happy person before Jason died."
"Mom was not bitter until Jason died." "I enjoyed spending time with Mom until Jason died." That is an unacceptable way to live as a Christ follower.
I am still grieving Jason; I will until I see him again, but the important thing is that I will see him again.
All of these people who are experiencing the tough times of life have been a clear witness to me. I want to handle life as a Christ follower should--looking to eternity and knowing that what happens here can cause sadness, stress, sorrow, but what happens here cannot steal our Joy.

My heart is hurting for the Nunnally kids

I have no business stopping my homework to post this, but my heart is hurting, and if I write it down, I can focus on my notebook. I went to a funeral today of a mom, stepdad, and their 8 month old grandbaby. I have had their children in class, but I did not know the parents.
I can't imagine the pain that Heather is feeling right now. Not only did she lose her mom and stepdad, but she had to bury her 8 month old baby girl also. I didn't want to go. All morning I kept thinking, "It won't matter if I go; there will be plenty of people there: I didn't really know these people: I have too much to do to stop now: It will be too hard because it was in the same church that we had Jason's service in;" and on, and on, and on... Finally at one o'clock I decided that I would go.
I have been wondering what I could say to these kids. I didn't know if their parents were Christians. I could tell the young mother that she could see her baby again, but if her parents weren't Christians, what if she asked me about their fate. I could tell them to rest on their faith, that that would be the only thing that would bring real peace and comfort. But what if they had no faith, what would I say when they asked me why God allowed this tragedy to happen.
I'm so glad I went. I learned that this couple had recently been attending church in Earlsboro and were talking to the pastor about joining the church, so now I don't have to worry about discussing their fate with their children. What can I tell these kids?
I can tell Heather something that a grieving mom told me. You will never grieve again the way you have for your child. Your heart has survived true heartbreak, and that heartbreak will serve you well. You will be able to tell others who experience the death of a child that it is horrible, but that you will see happy times again.
I can tell both of them that their mom, stepdad, and Summer are together in paradise, and if we could see them now, we would not want to bring them back here where there is pain, suffering, and death.
I can tell them that the best way to survive this is to draw from the strength of the family and friends who love them.
The preacher told one little illustration that gave me comfort. He told us to imagine that these three people were on a ship that left the harbor. We watched them until the ship they were in grew smaller and smaller until they went over the horizon, and then we couldn't see them any longer. On the other side, others were standing on a dock watching the ship appear on the horizon and get larger and larger. The people on the dock were saying "Here they come." They were greeted by family and friends already in heaven.
I loved that image. I can see our family and friends waiting for Jason last September. Some of those people had never met him, but they were there because they already loved him. They may have known him as a child, so they were going to meet him as a man. What a comforting image.
I told Chris, the young man I had in class, that I was praying for him. I am and will continue to do so. I hope he got the same comfort out of the message today that I did.

one year

It has now been a full year since we have seen Jason. He stopped by here last year for a few days on his way back from Ft. Worth. Incredible.

Ashamed

I went to a small graveside service of one of Tony's classmates today. She had suffered from fibromyalgia and apparently heart trouble for some time, and she died of a heart attack.
Something that happened at the service has made me so ashamed of myself. I have so many regrets from high school, but the one that haunts me the most is that I didn't reveal my faith to my friends. If you could see the Bible I had during these bleak years, you would see evidence that I read it. There are passages underlined, notes, but for some reason, I thought it wouldn't matter if I went my own way for a few years.
At the end of the service, the moderator gave people in the audience an opportunity to speak. One of the girls in Tony's class spoke for about eight of us who were standing together. She stated that all of us know the Lord now but that we didn't know Him in high school. What I am most ashamed of is that I did know the Lord when I was in high school, but there was no evidence of that in my behavior.
My mother took me to church for as long as I can remember. I was saved and baptized when I was about eight, I went to church, church camp, vbs, I even taught VBS, but I did not live like a Christ follower from the time I was about 13 until I was 27. During those years, I knew that God had not left me, I felt His presence and felt the presence of the Holy Spirit trying to get my attention, but I ignored Him.
I can't look back on those years with fondness because I missed out on the opportunity to reach some of the most important people in my life. How could I expect them to follow Jesus when I was such a poor witness.
Many of the people that I work with have been those people who never strayed. How did they do that? Why was I so weak? I was even somewhat embarrassed about the fact that I went to church all the time, probably because if anyone had seen me walking in the door, they would have thought, "What's SHE doing going to church?"
I remember being able to answer all the Biblical allusion questions in literature, and people would always be surprised that I knew all of that stuff.
There are several of my friends who are like me. We made some very important decisions during our "silly season" and we have lived with the consequences. I hope my lack of courage to share and reveal my faith does not have eternal consequences.

New book

My pastor, Jimmy Holbrook, has a new book out this week. It is called The Shelter, and can be purchased at Mardel or at our church. It is a book about raising a family in today's world.
I know Jimmy is a very smart man, so I'm going to recommend the book even though I won't have time to read it until I finish school in a week and a half. One of the things I have read about it is that he teaches his readers to teach their children how to shelter themselves. It is not a book about keeping our children over-protected from the world, but instead to teach them to make Godly decisions. It's like the "give a man a fish, he will eat for a day; teach him to fish, he will be able to eat for life." We can't always be with our children. They can be protected by us for only so long, then we have to count on what we have taught them to remain with them when they are away from us.
With the exposure to so many harmful elements readily available to our kids, this is the most valuable thing we can do for them. We have to teach our kids to guard their hearts and minds. The Casting Crowns song, Slow Fade, is such a truth. Nobody intends to become addicted to drugs, alcohol, gambling, pornography, etc. People never crumble in a day; it is over time that people get their lives in such a mess that they don't think they have a way out.
I plan to purchase several copies for my family members and friends who are raising kids. My intention is for them to read the book and pass it on to their family and friends. I truly believe that a change in our culture is possible, but it must be a grass roots efforts. What better place to start than within our homes.