Confession

I have a confession to make. For the past two years and four month, my prayer life hasn't been what it should be. Prior to Jason's death, I started most days by reading a passage of scripture and writing a prayer in my journal. Since his death my prayers have been sporatic and inconsistent. If someone asks me to pray for him/her, I'll do that, but that's not enough. Prayer should be daily communication with my heavenly father. Prayers shouldn't be just asking for something; prayers should also be praise, adoration, thanksgiving, and confession.
If you go back and read my journals prior to Jason's death, you will see that daily I asked God to protect my children--physically, emotionally, and spiritually. When Jason died in a car accident, I guess I lost the portion of faith that I needed to count on God to protect my children. Has God protected them anyway? Yes, He has. They are both doing well. Does that mean it is useless for me to pray because they are blessed whether I pray or not? I don't think so.
I don't know if it is the beginning of the year resolutions or if I just reached the amount of time since Jason's death that I'm doing some self-examination, but I've started my prayer journals again. One of the reasons is that I'm reading a book called One Month to Live. At first I thought the topic would bother me, but instead it has made me think about the legacy I want to leave behind for my kids. It is very important for me to send the message loud and clear to them that my faith in God remains strong. How will I do that if my journal ends with Jason's death?
Therefore, I will journal my prayers again. I still won't go back and read the old journals yet, but someday I might.
The most important prayer I prayed was for God to take care of Jason spiritually. He answered that prayer because today Jason's life continues in eternity. Thank you, God for answered prayer.