Saturday, November 14, 2009

Emotional week

Tuesday of this week one of my school mates from 1st to 12th grade faced a horrible tragedy. Her sixteen year old daughter was brutally murdered in their home. Her nineteen year old found her sister's battered body where it had been placed in a bed and covered to the neck. The girl's boyfriend has been arrested for the murder, so they are not only grieving their daughter, they are going to be facing a trial, media coverage, probably guilt for not seeing a troubled relationship. So many emotions. On top of all of that, her older daughter is going to need constant support for the horror that she experienced at such a young age.
I talked Judi, my friend, Thursday night and tried to say something that would help her through, but just as people told me so many times after Jason died, "I have no words." That is the truth. There are no words to take away this kind of grief.
When I talked to her, she said she had had reservations about this boy, but she knew that if she forbid her daughter from seeing him, she would sneak around. Isn't that just like a mom; she is second guessing her parenting just as we all do when our kids are involved. As parents we take on all the responsibility of our children's choices. If we think they have chosen to love the wrong person, we want to intervene and make them see the light, but truthfully, we can't really control them in that way. We can pray that they will see the light before it is too late. For this beautiful little girl, it is too late.
After I heard that the boyfriend had been arrested, I started thinking about his family. I've said many times this year that I would rather have gone through the death of Jason than to be the parent of...the girl in Florida who killed her two year old daughter, the shooter in any mass murder, a young man who goes off and kills his sixteen year old girlfriend in a fit of rage. The list goes on. Very often in recent years, the news is filled with stories of parents killing children, children killing parents, stories as old as Biblical times, but still shocking to humanity.
Every mother's and father's nightmare is for their child, boy or girl, to become involved with the wrong person, a person who will harm them physically or emotionally. Those of us who have lived very many year have witnessed many relationships that we've know were doomed from the start. Of course, those of us who have lived very many years have also witnessed some of those relationships result in strong, loving families.
All I can do is to pray that Allison and Carson choose wisely when they choose a mate. I've thought that it would be better if they would let me choose, but I certainly wouldn't want to take on that responsibility.
My prayers are with Judi and her family.

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