When Wayman Tisdale died of cancer last year, Toby Keith immediately wrote a song; he called it "Wayman's Song" but it became Jason's song to me the very first time I heard.
I’m gonna miss that smile
I’m gonna miss you my friend
Even though it hurts the way it ended up
I’d do it all again
So play it sweet in heaven
’Cause that’s right where you wanna be
I’m not crying because I feel so sorry for you
I’m crying for me.
That was one of the songs played at Brittany's funeral today, and it made me realize that of all the things I miss most about Jason, his smile is foremost. I love looking at his pictures and seeing a real smile, not a smile for the camera, but a smile that came from pure joy of living.
The pictures of Brittany were the same. The things they all had in common was a beautiful smile that told us that she loved life and loved the people she was with when the picture was taken.
I'm very sentimental today; it's Allison's 30th birthday, and she isn't here to celebrate, but I'm overjoyed because she has a new job that is a wonderful opportunity for her. She'll be home next week for a week, so we'll celebrate big time when she gets home.
Going to another young person's funeral has emotionally worn me out, but I'm later going to a birthday party for Bruce and Brian's 60th birthday. This is a huge event for us because it's the first of our friends to turn 60. How did it happen so soon? Just a fews days ago we were talking about turning 40.
We've been knocked around considerably in the past 20 years, but I'm so thankful for the friendship that we will celebrate today. Bruce's wife has been my very best friend since before I started to school. That's a long friendship.
While we are at the party, we will see friends that we haven't seen since Jason's death. That's always difficult for me, so if you read this between the hours of 3 and 8 today, say a prayer of strength for me. I'm kind of weepy today, and I don't want to put a damper on the afternoon.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Rant--Facebook etiquette.
I just went to visit Brittany Coker’s family. Brittany was killed in a car accident last night, and her death was posted on facebook before her family was notified. OK, people, you don’t have to be the first to post something as soon as you hear it. Please think before you post.
After I talked to her mother, I realized that I knew of Brittany’s death before her own mother was notified. This shouldn’t happen.
When my son Jason was killed, he was in Nebraska, and the accident occurred at 11:30 p. m. We were notified in person by two deputy sheriffs at 3:00. Brittany’s grandparents were notified of her death by a relative who saw it on facebook. This shouldn’t happen.
Brittany’s mother was told of her daughter’s death over the telephone. This shouldn’t happen.
I don’t know any other way to get to the facebook crowd than to post on facebook, so I’m asking you to copy and paste this to your wall so that it will get to as many people as possible.
Debbie Humphrey
After I talked to her mother, I realized that I knew of Brittany’s death before her own mother was notified. This shouldn’t happen.
When my son Jason was killed, he was in Nebraska, and the accident occurred at 11:30 p. m. We were notified in person by two deputy sheriffs at 3:00. Brittany’s grandparents were notified of her death by a relative who saw it on facebook. This shouldn’t happen.
Brittany’s mother was told of her daughter’s death over the telephone. This shouldn’t happen.
I don’t know any other way to get to the facebook crowd than to post on facebook, so I’m asking you to copy and paste this to your wall so that it will get to as many people as possible.
Debbie Humphrey
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes
Changes--that seems to be the pattern life is in for me, my family, and my friends right now. This summer I have had to accept some changes that I'm not ready to accept, and I've rejoiced in some of the changes that I have hoped and prayed for that are finally coming to pass.
At school--Toni, one of my closest friends, resigned to take a job with the American Cancer Society. I know, it's noble work, but I really enjoyed being in the THS foxhole with her. The last few years our entire faculty has changed. Retirement, leave of absence, relocation, and death has taken several of my dear friends that I worked with for many years. Facebook has allowed many of us to stay in touch, so it's not so tough as it could be, but I miss them. I dearly love the people who have been hired to take their places though. I guess there's a lesson there for all of us.
At church--our pastor resigned last week. I'm not going to say it was a complete shock because I've suspected it was coming for a few weeks, but I'm very sad. I'm sad because he is an excellent preacher, and I enjoy excellent sermons. I'm always sad when we have to go through the process of finding a new pastor. It's a trying time for any church. I have every confidence that the men who are on the search committee will be wise in choosing the man God has in mind for us, but I'm impatient; I hate the unknown. The church has only had three pastors in its history, and all have stayed for several years, so I'm sure the right man will be in the pulpit soon.
At home--this is the answer to prayer. Allison is moving back home for a while because she has taken a job with ATT. She will be working in Seminole at the ATT store. If anyone reading this is ready for and upgrade, wait a month so that she can sell you a phone. She is in St. Louis right now for training. I can't tell you how happy I am for her. The added bonus is that I get to keep her dog Lady while she's gone. She may be the sweetest dog in the history of all dogs.
I'm taking a Beth Moore Bible study this summer called Believing God. That's what I'm doing right now. I'm believing God that all the changes in my life are for good. Some are easy for me to see the good, but others not so much. I'm believing God.
At school--Toni, one of my closest friends, resigned to take a job with the American Cancer Society. I know, it's noble work, but I really enjoyed being in the THS foxhole with her. The last few years our entire faculty has changed. Retirement, leave of absence, relocation, and death has taken several of my dear friends that I worked with for many years. Facebook has allowed many of us to stay in touch, so it's not so tough as it could be, but I miss them. I dearly love the people who have been hired to take their places though. I guess there's a lesson there for all of us.
At church--our pastor resigned last week. I'm not going to say it was a complete shock because I've suspected it was coming for a few weeks, but I'm very sad. I'm sad because he is an excellent preacher, and I enjoy excellent sermons. I'm always sad when we have to go through the process of finding a new pastor. It's a trying time for any church. I have every confidence that the men who are on the search committee will be wise in choosing the man God has in mind for us, but I'm impatient; I hate the unknown. The church has only had three pastors in its history, and all have stayed for several years, so I'm sure the right man will be in the pulpit soon.
At home--this is the answer to prayer. Allison is moving back home for a while because she has taken a job with ATT. She will be working in Seminole at the ATT store. If anyone reading this is ready for and upgrade, wait a month so that she can sell you a phone. She is in St. Louis right now for training. I can't tell you how happy I am for her. The added bonus is that I get to keep her dog Lady while she's gone. She may be the sweetest dog in the history of all dogs.
I'm taking a Beth Moore Bible study this summer called Believing God. That's what I'm doing right now. I'm believing God that all the changes in my life are for good. Some are easy for me to see the good, but others not so much. I'm believing God.
Monday, July 5, 2010
Another 4th with some empty places
Yesterday we celebrated Fourth of July the way we always do, family, feast, fireworks, but we had some empty places this year that made the day bittersweet. Of course, any time the family is together, I miss Jason, but yesterday I couldn't help missing Cody and Ashley too. Cody is serving in Afghanistan right now, and his wife Ashley is living in San Diego. I hope they both had a good day.
We used to have a picnic down at the ponds every year, but many years ago the venue changed to the house. It was at my in-laws until we moved here, but for the past twenty years, it has been at our house. The crowd has changed, and since we no longer have a pool, the activity has changed too.
Aunt Polly, Gigi, and Granny and Poppy come to visit and have lunch. The kids still have a few fireworks, but that has changed too. Now Carson and Kirby try to figure out how they can make louder, bigger explosions by taping or binding things together while Kirby's wife Beth and Allison watch. I had to think of Cody yesterday. He was the real king of blowing things up; ironic since he is now a part of Navy EODs. His job is to find enemy weapons and blow the up. I pray for his safety and am so anxious to see him home. I wondered about Ashley yesterday; Cindy said she was going to be with friends, so that's good.
Jason wasn't ever allowed to have fireworks. My dad and Tony's dad would give him money not to buy fireworks. When Cody came along, he had to have fireworks, so Jason used to be amazed by watching Carson, Cody and Kirby blowing stuff up. He joined in as an adult, but I wonder if he thought we had lost our minds.
I wasn't expecting any yesterday, but Carson stopped at a fireworks stand and brought some stuff to play with yesterday. I didn't hear it, but he said that Gigi told him it was time to GROWUP! She yelled at him probably for the first time in his life.
Yesterday was a good day--it was a rare cool day in July in Oklahoma. A storm came in about 6:00 and poured another couple of inches of rain on us. At least we didn't have to worry about grass fires this year as we usually do.
I cooked fried chicken tenders and baked hot rolls which also made me think of Cody. When he was just a little guy, he could eat his weight in chicken tenders and hot rolls. I wish there was a way to get some to him.
Maybe when he gets home, we will have mock holidays to celebrate with him and Ashley. We could do Easter ham, Mother's Day burgers, Independence Day chicken. As difficult as it is to get us all together now, we may have to do this all in one day.
We used to have a picnic down at the ponds every year, but many years ago the venue changed to the house. It was at my in-laws until we moved here, but for the past twenty years, it has been at our house. The crowd has changed, and since we no longer have a pool, the activity has changed too.
Aunt Polly, Gigi, and Granny and Poppy come to visit and have lunch. The kids still have a few fireworks, but that has changed too. Now Carson and Kirby try to figure out how they can make louder, bigger explosions by taping or binding things together while Kirby's wife Beth and Allison watch. I had to think of Cody yesterday. He was the real king of blowing things up; ironic since he is now a part of Navy EODs. His job is to find enemy weapons and blow the up. I pray for his safety and am so anxious to see him home. I wondered about Ashley yesterday; Cindy said she was going to be with friends, so that's good.
Jason wasn't ever allowed to have fireworks. My dad and Tony's dad would give him money not to buy fireworks. When Cody came along, he had to have fireworks, so Jason used to be amazed by watching Carson, Cody and Kirby blowing stuff up. He joined in as an adult, but I wonder if he thought we had lost our minds.
I wasn't expecting any yesterday, but Carson stopped at a fireworks stand and brought some stuff to play with yesterday. I didn't hear it, but he said that Gigi told him it was time to GROWUP! She yelled at him probably for the first time in his life.
Yesterday was a good day--it was a rare cool day in July in Oklahoma. A storm came in about 6:00 and poured another couple of inches of rain on us. At least we didn't have to worry about grass fires this year as we usually do.
I cooked fried chicken tenders and baked hot rolls which also made me think of Cody. When he was just a little guy, he could eat his weight in chicken tenders and hot rolls. I wish there was a way to get some to him.
Maybe when he gets home, we will have mock holidays to celebrate with him and Ashley. We could do Easter ham, Mother's Day burgers, Independence Day chicken. As difficult as it is to get us all together now, we may have to do this all in one day.
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