Hebrews 11:6

Without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him. Hebrews 11:6

I'm attending a Beth Moore study called Believing God this summer. This is the memory verse that I am supposed to memorize this week. I used to be able to memorize scripture; what happened? Every night before I go to bed, I think, ok, I've got it. Then I wake up in the morning, and it's gone. I wish I had been more diligent to memorize scripture when I was young because I still know the verses I memorized when I was a kid. I know that because all the verses I know are in the poetry of the King James Bible.
I've been studying this week about Believing God for your promised land. I guess I'm stupid because I always think of the promised land for Christians as heaven, but this week's lesson teaches that we should be living in our own promised land here on earth. I don't live there. I don't act like a person who lives in the promised land.
I worry. I fret. I stress. I wake up in the middle of the night and stay awake for hours. That's not promised land living. I'm really hoping that nine weeks of study will get me out of the place I've been in and shove me right into the promised land in my mind.
Back to my memory verse, I do have faith in God, I want to please Him, but I'm having trouble with the last part. Some of the people I know who earnestly seek Him haven't been rewarded the way I thought they should have been rewarded. Beth Moore says we will address my doubts in week three. I'm thinking I should read ahead.
I'm giving the ACT tomorrow, so I'll have four hours to read and study. Is it cheating to read ahead in a Bible study? I don't think so. Especially since my memory is so poor, I will probably forget what I read tomorrow by the time week three gets here.