Answered Prayer

I think God reads my blog. I posted about how loud the music was at my church, and for the last two weeks, it hasn't been so loud. I learned today that they had an expert come in and balance the sound. Let me just say I appreciate it so much.
Today's sermon challenged me so much. The question was Have you Lost Jesus? In family, in career, or in church. The possibility of maintaining a personal relationship takes an intentional effort.
The preacher mentioned the idea that group dating may be wise for teenagers, but to establish a one-on-one relationship, the couple has to spend time one-on-one. He said that many times we try to group date God. I have been guilty of that. This summer I'm taking the Beth Moore Bible study which requires about five 45 minute sessions each week and two hours on Tuesday with the other ladies in the group. I'm learning so much about myself and God in those private sessions. I'm so jealous of young people who have already figured this out at an early age. Throughout my life I have had periods of private study and periods when I depended on teachers and preachers way too much.

Father's Day

Today is Father's Day. We have had a very lazy day because the kids are not here; we are meeting Tuesday night to celebrate. Carson has a test tomorrow, so he has to study. Allison is in Stillwater taking care of some business up there. Tony is so patient. He doesn't care at all. I am much more selfish. If I don't see them on Mother's Day, my feelings are hurt. I try to be understanding, but deep-down inside, I'm hurt. It must be great to be a guy. I gave him some golfballs (his favorite gift) and a card. He cooked porkchops and rice for lunch. He's watched golf, and I've watched movies all afternoon. We are pretty boring.
This week I have a very busy schedule. I'm going to the clear sight center tomorrow to see if I'm a candidate for lasix. I'm pretty sure I'm not, but I'm going to see. My friend Cindy and I are meeting for lunch and a movie after my appointment. Tuesday is my Beth Moore Bible Study and our Father's Day night out. Thursday, I'm going with a great group of co-workers and former co-workers to the OKC Museum to see the Sketch to Screen exhibit. We'll get to see authentic costumes that were used in movies from silent films to today. We're having lunch at the museum cafe and attending the exhibit with a docent to guide us through. AND we get to ride the trolley. I love my friends.
I've thought of my dad and Tony's dad all day. They were great guys, so different from one another, but they had one thing in common. They both made me think that they believed my kids to be the greatest kids in the world. I'm sure they made our siblings feel the very same.
Daddy always bragged on my kids because they weren't "smart aleck." I thought that was so funny because I couldn't really think of any of his grandkids that I would have thought had smart mouths. A little part of me is missing them today, but I'm so glad they weren't here to experience Jason's death. It would have bee too much for their sweet hearts.

Another lesson

I learned something about myself yesterday. Recently I've been thinking that I needed to start going to early church service. Lately the music in the big service has gotten a little annoying to me. It's too loud, so I started thinking that instead of complaining (like an old lady) I would go to the mellower, acoustic service at 9:00. That service is usually an older crowd, but not everyone is older than I am. Many people just like to go early so that they have more time on Sunday after church to relax and enjoy the day.
Since I was going to a concert last night and wanted to leave fairly early, I went to early church yesterday. Ok, I'm not quite ready for that yet. The music was beautiful, but I really need to worship with a large crowd. I've done my share of being in a small congregation; the reason I drive 23 miles to church is because I enjoy worshipping with 400+.
When I first got into the service yesterday, there might have been thirty people in there. By the time it was over, maybe forty more had come in. The problem was that everyone was scattered out, so I couldn't hear anyone singing. I like to have people around me singing; I don't like to watch the musicians and singers on stage like they are performing. They are leading worship, not performing.
So...what to do?
I'm going back to the second service next week, but I'm taking earplugs. I may buy one of those packages that have several pairs and pass them out to the people around me. Recently I have been concerned about the babies I see in the service. Just because it is Christian music, it doesn't mean that noise level is not dangerous to our hearing.
It's not just the volume; as much as I love the new music, I occasionally like to hear a hymn. I didn't know this until I went to Sharon Warden's funeral and the pianist played a medley of hymns. I sang along in my head with every one. I'm thinking that young Christians in our church won't have those words in their arsenal. The words of those old hymns are embedded in my mind. I can pull up the truths of the songs in the hymnal to my mind anytime I need to.
"He Keeps me Singing" "He Set me Free" "I Shall not be Moved" "When we all get to Heaven" "This World is not my Home" "It Won't Be Very Long" "O How I Love Jesus"
Now, believe me, I love the new praise and worship music. I have CD's with songs that I have added to all of the old songs in my mind, but sometimes I just miss the old stuff.
I really just want the music to be music that leads people to Jesus. Whatever it takes to reach people for Christ is what we need to play. I'm already saved and on my way to heaven; if it takes putting the hymnals away to reach the lost, I'm all for it. I am going to try to preserve my hearing. I have enough hearing loss from my misspent youth; I don't need to do more damage at church.

Hebrews 11:6

Without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him. Hebrews 11:6

I'm attending a Beth Moore study called Believing God this summer. This is the memory verse that I am supposed to memorize this week. I used to be able to memorize scripture; what happened? Every night before I go to bed, I think, ok, I've got it. Then I wake up in the morning, and it's gone. I wish I had been more diligent to memorize scripture when I was young because I still know the verses I memorized when I was a kid. I know that because all the verses I know are in the poetry of the King James Bible.
I've been studying this week about Believing God for your promised land. I guess I'm stupid because I always think of the promised land for Christians as heaven, but this week's lesson teaches that we should be living in our own promised land here on earth. I don't live there. I don't act like a person who lives in the promised land.
I worry. I fret. I stress. I wake up in the middle of the night and stay awake for hours. That's not promised land living. I'm really hoping that nine weeks of study will get me out of the place I've been in and shove me right into the promised land in my mind.
Back to my memory verse, I do have faith in God, I want to please Him, but I'm having trouble with the last part. Some of the people I know who earnestly seek Him haven't been rewarded the way I thought they should have been rewarded. Beth Moore says we will address my doubts in week three. I'm thinking I should read ahead.
I'm giving the ACT tomorrow, so I'll have four hours to read and study. Is it cheating to read ahead in a Bible study? I don't think so. Especially since my memory is so poor, I will probably forget what I read tomorrow by the time week three gets here.