Jason was our firstborn and the light our lives. He was the first grandchild for Tony's parents and the fifth for my mom and dad. My parents were not the kind to make subsequent grandchildren less important. Every single one was special.
Jason was a very happy baby. I can still hear his giggle when he was just a baby. I could look in his baby book to get exact times and dates for all important events in his early childhood, but I'm not quite tough enough for that.
He was the perfect baby for two young parents because he was never sick; he was easy to take care; he was very content. I think he was about eight months old when he had his first visit to the dr. for anything other than a well-baby check.
As a child Jason was accident prone, and he had the scars to prove it. About the time he started to school, he figured out that he couldn't run harum scarum though life, and his injuries lessened. I'm pretty sure he would have been diagnosed with ADD if I had ever had him tested, but he soon mellowed out.
He was blessed with teachers who always thought he was great; he wasn't the best student in the class, but he was well-behaved, courteous, and cooperative.
It was always a joke with his elementary teachers that he would volunteer me to make cookies for every special day.
He loved horses. From very early in his life, it was obvious to us that he was going to be much more interested in horses than he was in sports. He wanted to spend as much time as possible with his granddad and was blessed with a man who made it possible for him to spend part of every summer with him.
We moved to Tecumseh between 8th and 9th grade, and he immediately fit in well with a great group of kids.
His highschool years were dedicated to horse shows, pig shows, basketball, and ag activities.
When it came time for college, he tried Northern for a semester but soon transfered to Connor's. The first phone call I got from him after a week at Connor's, he said, "Mom, this place is awesome; everyone here is just like me." I wasn't sure that was such a great thing, but he did well there. He participated on the livestock judging team and traveled all over with them.
His years at OSU were equally special. He worked for Marilyn Franz and trained horses while going to school.
We thought everything was going just as it should when he and Candy married. I had absolutely no doubt in their relationship. I never knew what happened, but the marriage ended after about three years.
After that time he drifted a little. He lived in Stillwater, El Reno, Minco, Drumright, back to Stillwater and then he came home for about eight months. That eight months were some of the most special times in our lives. He attended church with me almost every week. That means so much to me today.
I didn't know why, but I was honored that he wanted to spend time with us and knew that he was welcome.
After he moved to Nebraska, our relationship changed to a phone relationship. He called me the morning of his death, and we had a nice visit. It wasn't long enough from today's viewpoint.
I will miss him for the rest of my days.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Linda
My oldest sister Linda was one of a kind. She had a pretty rough life, some of it her fault, some not. She was a very young widow and single mother before she was twenty years old, but she finally got things together and made a life for herself and her kids. She also worked at Tinker when her kids were growing up. That meant she left the house early and was away from home about eleven hours a day.
She loved her family; she was generous to a fault. My dad used to say Linda would give away her last dime. Her life was full of struggles: financial, health, personal, but one thing was certain, she belonged to the Lord.
When she was in the hospital before she died, I spent more time with her than I had in years. We had many conversations about the regrets that she lived with. I kept reminding her that they were covered in the blood, but she would bring them up again.
Of all of my family members who are now in heaven, I'm most assured that Linda is living it up. Here on earth she had lost her eyesight, was bound in a wheelchair because of crippling arthritis, lived with constant pain. Now I envision her walking upright and seeing God's creation with perfect vision and completely pain free.
Linda loved to cook; that's the thing I miss most. I could call her and ask for a recipe or how to cook something, and she was ready with the instructions. She loved having her grandchildren around. When Crystal, Erica, and Allison were little, they loved going to Nan's to spend the day with her. They made crafts and cooked; she made their days special.
I still have Christmas ornaments that she made. They always make me smile because usually there was something not quite right about them. Linda couldn't see to make them perfect. One of them has a deer glued into a large acorn. The deer is backward. When I'm putting the ornaments on the tree, I get to laugh every year about how tickled we all got about that. We called her Linda Magoo.
She loved her family; she was generous to a fault. My dad used to say Linda would give away her last dime. Her life was full of struggles: financial, health, personal, but one thing was certain, she belonged to the Lord.
When she was in the hospital before she died, I spent more time with her than I had in years. We had many conversations about the regrets that she lived with. I kept reminding her that they were covered in the blood, but she would bring them up again.
Of all of my family members who are now in heaven, I'm most assured that Linda is living it up. Here on earth she had lost her eyesight, was bound in a wheelchair because of crippling arthritis, lived with constant pain. Now I envision her walking upright and seeing God's creation with perfect vision and completely pain free.
Linda loved to cook; that's the thing I miss most. I could call her and ask for a recipe or how to cook something, and she was ready with the instructions. She loved having her grandchildren around. When Crystal, Erica, and Allison were little, they loved going to Nan's to spend the day with her. They made crafts and cooked; she made their days special.
I still have Christmas ornaments that she made. They always make me smile because usually there was something not quite right about them. Linda couldn't see to make them perfect. One of them has a deer glued into a large acorn. The deer is backward. When I'm putting the ornaments on the tree, I get to laugh every year about how tickled we all got about that. We called her Linda Magoo.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
My Daddy
Some men were meant to be called father, some dad, some pops, but daddy is the only name that really fit my dad. He later became Pa to the grand kids, and that fit, but we called him daddy.
He was tough, he worked hard, he loved his family, he did what was right, he was generous, he was kind, he loved our momma, he loved the Lord in a childlike faith.
I didn't always appreciate him when I was a kid. He was grouchy and a stick-in-the-mud. He always said he would rather eat a bologna sandwich at home than to go out to dinner, but he went when mom insisted. When we went to the Grand Canyon, he said, "Well, it looks just like it does on tv." That made me crazy. I have never understood that way of thinking. If there's an option for me to see a ballgame live or on tv, I'll take the live experience every time. I'd rather go to a concert than to watch a performance on television, but not my dad. He loved his television and was very content just watching the world through that little box. This served him well in his later years because he never got bored.
I'm always shocked at the number of times I refer to the things I learned from my dad. He taught by example, and I never even realized I was paying attention.
He loved to garden and expected us to love his produce. If he called to tell us that corn was ready, he meant that he expected you to come and get your share immediately. That never really went over very well, but we pretty much did what he asked all our lives.
He was a master craftsman. He could take a piece of wood and make a beautiful piece of furniture our of it. My prized possessions are the five-piece panel doors in my kitchen that Daddy made by hand.
-Daddy used to do work for many families in Shawnee that caused him to develop a relationship with all the family. Their kids all loved him. One story that reveals the thoughtfulness and kindness of my father was when one of the little boys who was missing a hand because of a lawnmower accident was trying to play cards with his friends. Daddy saw what trouble he was having, so he went home that night and made card stands for all of the kids so that the little boy wouldn't feel singled out.
Acts like that endeared him to the families he worked for.
-When I was a kid, we had a cocker spaniel named Curly. Curly was fat like cockers sometimes get, so when we went to the cellar, Curly couldn't breath in the enclosed space. Daddy would put Curly up on the top shelf of the canned vegetables and hold him up there so that he could put his head out the vent and breathe.
-Daddy had to be the "head-of-household" for my sisters for many years while they were single parents. He never complained about having to fix the things that fell apart in both of their houses.
-Daddy served in WWII in the Army. He never really talked about the war much except to say that the reason he took a shower and shaved every night before going to bed was because when he was in the Philippines, they didn't have good water to drink much less bathe. He considered it a privilege to go to bed clean every night. He also said he did it for mom because he worked hard all day, and she shouldn't have to sleep next to a sweaty old man.
-Daddy made stilts for all the kids in our neighborhood one summer. That was the funniest sight. Kids of all ages walking around on stilts up and down the street. I'll bet visitors thought they had stumbled onto a strange place on East Washington in Tecumseh.
-Daddy was a good neighbor. He may not have had much in common with the people who lived around him, but they would all say that Nate was a good neighbor. He was not nosey, he was willing to help if needed, he kept his place up. Probably the only thing he could be criticized for in the neighborhood was his old rusted pickup. For Daddy a pickup was a tool to be used for work. His never got pampered; he seldom had a new one; his was always very utilitarian, no fancy gadgets. It probably didn't do much for the look of the neighborhood.
-He hated being home alone. When we were kids, if Daddy couldn't work because of bad weather, we always knew he would come and get us at school. That was awesome. It didn't happen very often, so those days were really special. He always said he couldn't rest with a cellar in the backyard when we were in that big old school.
-He loved his grand kids. He was proud of his family. He was a good son to his parents. He was a good brother to his siblings. He was a wonderful uncle to both his and mom's side of the family.
-He was a talker. I get my garrulousness from him. OK, that may not have been such a great legacy.
-A story that tells volumes about what it was like to be his daughter took place when I was in high school. I went to play practice which was over at 10:00. I went to the Ruby Dee (local drive-in) and started hanging out with some kids that were there. I was sitting in the back seat of a friend's car when he looked in his rearview mirror and said, "Debbie, is that your dad?"
Daddy tapped on the window and said, "Sis, it's time to come home." No drama, no scene. None was necessary, but I assure you I always went straight home after that.
He was solid. I always felt safe when Dad was in the house.
He was tough, he worked hard, he loved his family, he did what was right, he was generous, he was kind, he loved our momma, he loved the Lord in a childlike faith.
I didn't always appreciate him when I was a kid. He was grouchy and a stick-in-the-mud. He always said he would rather eat a bologna sandwich at home than to go out to dinner, but he went when mom insisted. When we went to the Grand Canyon, he said, "Well, it looks just like it does on tv." That made me crazy. I have never understood that way of thinking. If there's an option for me to see a ballgame live or on tv, I'll take the live experience every time. I'd rather go to a concert than to watch a performance on television, but not my dad. He loved his television and was very content just watching the world through that little box. This served him well in his later years because he never got bored.
I'm always shocked at the number of times I refer to the things I learned from my dad. He taught by example, and I never even realized I was paying attention.
He loved to garden and expected us to love his produce. If he called to tell us that corn was ready, he meant that he expected you to come and get your share immediately. That never really went over very well, but we pretty much did what he asked all our lives.
He was a master craftsman. He could take a piece of wood and make a beautiful piece of furniture our of it. My prized possessions are the five-piece panel doors in my kitchen that Daddy made by hand.
-Daddy used to do work for many families in Shawnee that caused him to develop a relationship with all the family. Their kids all loved him. One story that reveals the thoughtfulness and kindness of my father was when one of the little boys who was missing a hand because of a lawnmower accident was trying to play cards with his friends. Daddy saw what trouble he was having, so he went home that night and made card stands for all of the kids so that the little boy wouldn't feel singled out.
Acts like that endeared him to the families he worked for.
-When I was a kid, we had a cocker spaniel named Curly. Curly was fat like cockers sometimes get, so when we went to the cellar, Curly couldn't breath in the enclosed space. Daddy would put Curly up on the top shelf of the canned vegetables and hold him up there so that he could put his head out the vent and breathe.
-Daddy had to be the "head-of-household" for my sisters for many years while they were single parents. He never complained about having to fix the things that fell apart in both of their houses.
-Daddy served in WWII in the Army. He never really talked about the war much except to say that the reason he took a shower and shaved every night before going to bed was because when he was in the Philippines, they didn't have good water to drink much less bathe. He considered it a privilege to go to bed clean every night. He also said he did it for mom because he worked hard all day, and she shouldn't have to sleep next to a sweaty old man.
-Daddy made stilts for all the kids in our neighborhood one summer. That was the funniest sight. Kids of all ages walking around on stilts up and down the street. I'll bet visitors thought they had stumbled onto a strange place on East Washington in Tecumseh.
-Daddy was a good neighbor. He may not have had much in common with the people who lived around him, but they would all say that Nate was a good neighbor. He was not nosey, he was willing to help if needed, he kept his place up. Probably the only thing he could be criticized for in the neighborhood was his old rusted pickup. For Daddy a pickup was a tool to be used for work. His never got pampered; he seldom had a new one; his was always very utilitarian, no fancy gadgets. It probably didn't do much for the look of the neighborhood.
-He hated being home alone. When we were kids, if Daddy couldn't work because of bad weather, we always knew he would come and get us at school. That was awesome. It didn't happen very often, so those days were really special. He always said he couldn't rest with a cellar in the backyard when we were in that big old school.
-He loved his grand kids. He was proud of his family. He was a good son to his parents. He was a good brother to his siblings. He was a wonderful uncle to both his and mom's side of the family.
-He was a talker. I get my garrulousness from him. OK, that may not have been such a great legacy.
-A story that tells volumes about what it was like to be his daughter took place when I was in high school. I went to play practice which was over at 10:00. I went to the Ruby Dee (local drive-in) and started hanging out with some kids that were there. I was sitting in the back seat of a friend's car when he looked in his rearview mirror and said, "Debbie, is that your dad?"
Daddy tapped on the window and said, "Sis, it's time to come home." No drama, no scene. None was necessary, but I assure you I always went straight home after that.
He was solid. I always felt safe when Dad was in the house.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Remembering Phyllis
My sister Phyllis was the best person I've ever known. She was eight when I was born and took her spot as the baby of the family. I don't think she was too thrilled about that, but as the years passed, we became very close. She married young, had Janna a few years later, divorced a couple of years after that, and then she moved back home with Janna when I was about sixteen. I remember thinking she was the best mom I had ever witnessed. Her every move kept Janna in mind. I remember my parents having to tell her that she needed to go out and have a social life. She went to work at Tinker and made a good living for herself and Janna. Later she bought a home in Tecumseh and settled in to thinking that she would always be a single mom.
Boy did things change. After we moved to Wellston, we met Fred Coulson, the industrial arts teacher. Fred was also divorced and a single dad. We introduced them and then let them handle the rest. It took a couple of years, but soon they married, Phyllis and Janna moved to Wellston, and Marty and Monty moved in with their dad. All of the sudden Phyllis had three kids. They lived in a tiny two bedroom trailer while Fred and Tony built their house. I tried to cook a meal at my house and take it to their house every evening so that Tony and Fred could work. That was a long, drawn-out process, but they survived. They came in and stayed with us for a couple of weeks. I can't remember today why, but I remember all of us trying to get ready for school with one bathroom. That was quite an experience.
Later, we stayed with them while our water was off when our kitchen was being remodeled. Believe me our kids were much happier about these sleepovers than any of us, but we made it.
After the house was built, life settled in to 4-H, Ag, basketball, FHA, softball...do you see the trend? All of their life was wrapped around their kids. There were some really rocky times, but they came out on the other side a family of great love and faith.
When Carson was born, Phyllis fell immediately in love. She adored Jason and Allison, but for some reason (maybe it was her age) she couldn't get enough of Carson. She visited after work every chance she got and would just sit and rock him, spoil him, and love him.
It was only two years later that Evan was born. It all became clear; she was practicing being a Granny on Carson. By the time Evan was here, she was a pro at spoiling a kid. She continued in that capacity through Chelsea, Cortney, McKinley, Halle, Savana, Maddox, and if she had lived, McCoy. I still get angry when I think of her life being cut short by pulmonary fibrosis, a lung disease caused by exposure to chemicals at Tinker Field. Her grandkids were all so young and should have had many, many years of being loved by their granny.
During her extended illness, she suffered so much but kept her sense-of-humor and faith. She became so strong in the Lord and many times would comfort us because she knew how much emotional pain her illness caused us.
When I think of her sense-of-humor, I remember her getting tickled. She would get so tickled that she couldn't talk at all. The funny thing is that she and I could get tickled together just remembering one of those times. Once we were driving down the road, and I looked at her and realized that one of her lenses was out of her sunglasses. She was completely oblivious to the fact, so I got tickled, then she got tickled. We could never tell that story to anyone without losing full control. I guess you had to be there.
During her illness Phyllis repeated the verse "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." I never see that verse without thinking of her valiant battle for life.
A couple of years before her death, Fred took her to Graceland. Now I had been a couple of times and was glad to go, but to Phyllis Graceland was very special. She was an Elvis fan to the core. She stumbled and fell and hurt her arm before she got to go in, but like the trooper she was, she went in anyway. All of her pictures show her holding her arm and smiling. Later that night she went to the ER and found out that her arm was broken. Prednisone had weakened her bones and made her vulnerable to breaks.
There's so much more I could say about her, but I'd have to write a book to pay the kind of tribute to her that I feel is appropriate.
If my mom is the voice in my head, Phyllis is the amen to that voice. She left a void in so many lives when she died.
I was with her when Dr. Huff told her that she wasn't going to leave the hospital. She was so courageous; I asked her if she was scared. She shook her head. No she wasn't scared, she was going to get to see Mom.
I've never know anyone who hung on to life so hard; most people would have been bitter and angry, but she wasn't. She could do all things through Christ who strengthened her.
Boy did things change. After we moved to Wellston, we met Fred Coulson, the industrial arts teacher. Fred was also divorced and a single dad. We introduced them and then let them handle the rest. It took a couple of years, but soon they married, Phyllis and Janna moved to Wellston, and Marty and Monty moved in with their dad. All of the sudden Phyllis had three kids. They lived in a tiny two bedroom trailer while Fred and Tony built their house. I tried to cook a meal at my house and take it to their house every evening so that Tony and Fred could work. That was a long, drawn-out process, but they survived. They came in and stayed with us for a couple of weeks. I can't remember today why, but I remember all of us trying to get ready for school with one bathroom. That was quite an experience.
Later, we stayed with them while our water was off when our kitchen was being remodeled. Believe me our kids were much happier about these sleepovers than any of us, but we made it.
After the house was built, life settled in to 4-H, Ag, basketball, FHA, softball...do you see the trend? All of their life was wrapped around their kids. There were some really rocky times, but they came out on the other side a family of great love and faith.
When Carson was born, Phyllis fell immediately in love. She adored Jason and Allison, but for some reason (maybe it was her age) she couldn't get enough of Carson. She visited after work every chance she got and would just sit and rock him, spoil him, and love him.
It was only two years later that Evan was born. It all became clear; she was practicing being a Granny on Carson. By the time Evan was here, she was a pro at spoiling a kid. She continued in that capacity through Chelsea, Cortney, McKinley, Halle, Savana, Maddox, and if she had lived, McCoy. I still get angry when I think of her life being cut short by pulmonary fibrosis, a lung disease caused by exposure to chemicals at Tinker Field. Her grandkids were all so young and should have had many, many years of being loved by their granny.
During her extended illness, she suffered so much but kept her sense-of-humor and faith. She became so strong in the Lord and many times would comfort us because she knew how much emotional pain her illness caused us.
When I think of her sense-of-humor, I remember her getting tickled. She would get so tickled that she couldn't talk at all. The funny thing is that she and I could get tickled together just remembering one of those times. Once we were driving down the road, and I looked at her and realized that one of her lenses was out of her sunglasses. She was completely oblivious to the fact, so I got tickled, then she got tickled. We could never tell that story to anyone without losing full control. I guess you had to be there.
During her illness Phyllis repeated the verse "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." I never see that verse without thinking of her valiant battle for life.
A couple of years before her death, Fred took her to Graceland. Now I had been a couple of times and was glad to go, but to Phyllis Graceland was very special. She was an Elvis fan to the core. She stumbled and fell and hurt her arm before she got to go in, but like the trooper she was, she went in anyway. All of her pictures show her holding her arm and smiling. Later that night she went to the ER and found out that her arm was broken. Prednisone had weakened her bones and made her vulnerable to breaks.
There's so much more I could say about her, but I'd have to write a book to pay the kind of tribute to her that I feel is appropriate.
If my mom is the voice in my head, Phyllis is the amen to that voice. She left a void in so many lives when she died.
I was with her when Dr. Huff told her that she wasn't going to leave the hospital. She was so courageous; I asked her if she was scared. She shook her head. No she wasn't scared, she was going to get to see Mom.
I've never know anyone who hung on to life so hard; most people would have been bitter and angry, but she wasn't. She could do all things through Christ who strengthened her.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Remembering Mom
I have made it very certain to anyone that knows me that I owe more than even I know to my mom's influence. Mom was older than most of my friend's moms. She was thirty-three when I was born, so she had already had so much parenting experience by the time I was around that our relationship was effortless.
I was such a brat. Mom went to work at Montgomery Ward's when I was in the fourth grade. I was worried because Mom was our Campfire Leader. Guess what, we had Campfire at our house on her day off, every Monday afternoon. I don't think I had any idea what exactly that meant until I became a mom and thought about giving up part of my only day off each week for a bunch of silly girls. That didn't last long because mom became the head cashier very quickly and then had Saturday's off. She had a perfect job in a retail chain. She worked eight to five, no weekends, no holidays, but she had so much responsibility. After she retired, used to tell me that if she ever applied for another job, she wanted one with no responsibility. She was probably what is called today a Human Resources person. She took care of payroll (cash envelopes every Wednesday) and daily deposits. She took care of insurance and personnel. Even though she was not in management, many of the employees considered her their boss. Not bad for someone who only finished tenth grade. She was very smart. After she retired, she worked seasonally for H&R Block, she took care of my grandparents and had Grandpa move in with them after Grandma died, she kept Carson and Evan, and then she went to work at the daycare at church. She was still working there until she got so sick she was walking down the hall and holding on to the wall. She said it kept her mind off of herself.
When I think about her life, I always feel that she never got to just enjoy being free. She always had someone to take care of, but that was her gift.
She was a great mom, but she was a terrific Granny. Her grandchildren were her focus in a very healthy way. She wasn't the type to feel the need to stick her nose in to their business, but because of who she was and how she interracted with them, they included her in their lives.
I used to think that it wasn't a good thing for grandparents to keep their grandkids while their parents worked. That was until Mom started keeping Carson for me. I can't tell you how wonderful it was to drop him off where I knew he would be adored by both Mom and Dad all day. Then there was the added perk of Mom cooking stew or chili or beans or an apple pie and saying, "Why don't you take some of this home with you, your dad and I can't eat all of this." That was AWESOME.
I've tried to be like Mom but will never feel that I am a tenth of the person she was. I was a different kind of mom, but if I ever get to be a grandparent, I intend to be just like her.
One really neat memory was the Christmas that she and Dad bought Atari systems for all the families. My sister-in-law and I left the day after Christmas to go shopping and left Toby, Jason, Brandy, and Allison with Granny. When we got home, the living room was a wreck, toys were everywhere, and Mom was sitting in the floor playing Pacman with the kids. That's exactly the kind of Granny I want to be.
She is the voice in my head, in a very good way.
I was such a brat. Mom went to work at Montgomery Ward's when I was in the fourth grade. I was worried because Mom was our Campfire Leader. Guess what, we had Campfire at our house on her day off, every Monday afternoon. I don't think I had any idea what exactly that meant until I became a mom and thought about giving up part of my only day off each week for a bunch of silly girls. That didn't last long because mom became the head cashier very quickly and then had Saturday's off. She had a perfect job in a retail chain. She worked eight to five, no weekends, no holidays, but she had so much responsibility. After she retired, used to tell me that if she ever applied for another job, she wanted one with no responsibility. She was probably what is called today a Human Resources person. She took care of payroll (cash envelopes every Wednesday) and daily deposits. She took care of insurance and personnel. Even though she was not in management, many of the employees considered her their boss. Not bad for someone who only finished tenth grade. She was very smart. After she retired, she worked seasonally for H&R Block, she took care of my grandparents and had Grandpa move in with them after Grandma died, she kept Carson and Evan, and then she went to work at the daycare at church. She was still working there until she got so sick she was walking down the hall and holding on to the wall. She said it kept her mind off of herself.
When I think about her life, I always feel that she never got to just enjoy being free. She always had someone to take care of, but that was her gift.
She was a great mom, but she was a terrific Granny. Her grandchildren were her focus in a very healthy way. She wasn't the type to feel the need to stick her nose in to their business, but because of who she was and how she interracted with them, they included her in their lives.
I used to think that it wasn't a good thing for grandparents to keep their grandkids while their parents worked. That was until Mom started keeping Carson for me. I can't tell you how wonderful it was to drop him off where I knew he would be adored by both Mom and Dad all day. Then there was the added perk of Mom cooking stew or chili or beans or an apple pie and saying, "Why don't you take some of this home with you, your dad and I can't eat all of this." That was AWESOME.
I've tried to be like Mom but will never feel that I am a tenth of the person she was. I was a different kind of mom, but if I ever get to be a grandparent, I intend to be just like her.
One really neat memory was the Christmas that she and Dad bought Atari systems for all the families. My sister-in-law and I left the day after Christmas to go shopping and left Toby, Jason, Brandy, and Allison with Granny. When we got home, the living room was a wreck, toys were everywhere, and Mom was sitting in the floor playing Pacman with the kids. That's exactly the kind of Granny I want to be.
She is the voice in my head, in a very good way.
Memorial Weekend
This weekend is Memorial Weekend which for most people means the first lake trip or (around here) Alumni weekend. I went to the cemetery this morning to put new flowers out at Mom and Dad's and Jason's graves. Those trips always put me in a strange mood. I'm not especially saddened by the cemetery like I thought I would be; it is clear to me that the place should be honored because of the stones there that honor the dead, but that's all it is. I don't talk to the headstones or think about the remains of my family. The important part of Mom, Daddy, and Jason are not there, so I don't dwell on the physical. What happens is that I think of them and the impact they had on my life. Therefore, I'm going to spend the weekend writing my thoughts about the important people in my life who have already passed.
My first experience with death was when my father-in-law, Fred Humphrey, passed away in 1988. He was such a great man. I always liked him, but I began loving him when Jason was born. He was the best grandad ever. He and Jason had a bond that I'm certain lives on in eternity. He passed on his love and respect for horses that served Jason well throughout his life. Allison was born on his birthday, and that gave them a wonderful connection. Carson was only five months old when he died, so he has no real memories of Grandad. I hope we have told Carson enough that he knows what kind of influence Grandad was on all of us.
I still remember his laugh; it was so infectious. He was a cowboy to the bone and love being around others who loved horses. He was a daily coffee shop visitor and had every waitress in town anxious to take care of him because he knew how to schmooze, a skill he taught Jason.
I loved the way he took care of his mother. She thought he hung the moon and looked forward to his daily visits. He and his sister, Aunt Polly, had an enviable closeness. I always said that I would be pleased if my children were as close in their adult lives and the two of them.
His death changed our family. It makes me very sad that his influence ended too soon. Fifty-eight years is just not enough time on this earth. He would have so loved watching all the grandkids in their high school years. He would have been so proud of Jason and Kirby following in his footsteps into the horse training business.
One thing that is certain though. When a person dies young, he is saved from some of the heartache that we have all had to face. I know that losing Jason would have been too much for him. I guess since God knows that big picture, I have to rely on Him to know what's best.
My first experience with death was when my father-in-law, Fred Humphrey, passed away in 1988. He was such a great man. I always liked him, but I began loving him when Jason was born. He was the best grandad ever. He and Jason had a bond that I'm certain lives on in eternity. He passed on his love and respect for horses that served Jason well throughout his life. Allison was born on his birthday, and that gave them a wonderful connection. Carson was only five months old when he died, so he has no real memories of Grandad. I hope we have told Carson enough that he knows what kind of influence Grandad was on all of us.
I still remember his laugh; it was so infectious. He was a cowboy to the bone and love being around others who loved horses. He was a daily coffee shop visitor and had every waitress in town anxious to take care of him because he knew how to schmooze, a skill he taught Jason.
I loved the way he took care of his mother. She thought he hung the moon and looked forward to his daily visits. He and his sister, Aunt Polly, had an enviable closeness. I always said that I would be pleased if my children were as close in their adult lives and the two of them.
His death changed our family. It makes me very sad that his influence ended too soon. Fifty-eight years is just not enough time on this earth. He would have so loved watching all the grandkids in their high school years. He would have been so proud of Jason and Kirby following in his footsteps into the horse training business.
One thing that is certain though. When a person dies young, he is saved from some of the heartache that we have all had to face. I know that losing Jason would have been too much for him. I guess since God knows that big picture, I have to rely on Him to know what's best.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
New music
I bought a cd last week that has become my new favorite. The singer/songwriter is JJ Heller. On itunes she's listed as folk, but her lyrics are Christian. One line that stands out to me is in the last song. "Hope keeps me holding on to You; Grace means You're holding me too." Isn't that a comforting thought? No matter what we face, we can hold tight to the creator of the universe, and He holds us too.
It seems to me that lately so many of us are having to face such hardships. Daily someone tells me of someone that needs our prayers, and the requests are not for minor issues. Sickness....tornado...oil spill...war...joblessness..the list goes on. All I can recommend is to hold on to Hope. Some situations seem bleak, hopeless, unconquerable, but people of faith remain hopeful. That's what we do.
It seems to me that lately so many of us are having to face such hardships. Daily someone tells me of someone that needs our prayers, and the requests are not for minor issues. Sickness....tornado...oil spill...war...joblessness..the list goes on. All I can recommend is to hold on to Hope. Some situations seem bleak, hopeless, unconquerable, but people of faith remain hopeful. That's what we do.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Year 20 at THS
Friday I received my twenty year pin from Tecumseh Public Schools. I'm feeling rather weird about the stage of life I'm in. When you grow up the baby of the family and marry someone even a little older than you are, you think you will always be the "youngun." Not true. There's only about three people at school who are older than I am right now. Many of the people I work with are the age of my children, so I have a motherly influence in their lives. It happened so fast; I went from being in the middle of my career to nearing the end. I would like to teach full-time for two more years until my National Board Certification expires, and then I really want to retire from full-time but continue to teach half days. That sounds like a great plan, but if life has taught me anything, it is this. I can make all the plans I want to, but things will happen the way they are meant to happen.
I hear parents today say the same thing I said when my kids were growing up. When they entered school, I couldn't believe that time had gone by so fast. When they graduated, I couldn't believe that time had gone by so fast. Now that they are adults, I'm saying that time is going by too fast.
Who savors every moment? According to Thornton Wilder in Our Town, the saints and poets maybe. I want to live like a saint or poet. I want to make the most of my life, every minute, every hour, every day. I don't want to waste the time God has given me.
I hear parents today say the same thing I said when my kids were growing up. When they entered school, I couldn't believe that time had gone by so fast. When they graduated, I couldn't believe that time had gone by so fast. Now that they are adults, I'm saying that time is going by too fast.
Who savors every moment? According to Thornton Wilder in Our Town, the saints and poets maybe. I want to live like a saint or poet. I want to make the most of my life, every minute, every hour, every day. I don't want to waste the time God has given me.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Lessons from a Tornado
All my life I've heard the Indian Legend that Tecumseh would never be hit by a tornado because it sits between two rivers. Well, last night that legend was proven false. My town was hit and hit hard. We went to the cellar for the first time since we've lived back here. On several occasions we have gathered in our living room with Randy and Cindy and our family and waited out a storm. We always have been able to avoid going to the cellar, but last night we went. Almost immediately after it went over the house, everything cleared up. We headed to town to see if Gigi and Aunt Polly were ok. Aunt Polly's house had considerable damage, so we went to work getting a tarp on the house and getting her out to Randy and Cindy's. Gigi went to the shelter in the Housing Authority neighborhood. She was fine. The tornado hit Little Axe, Pink, skipped us, hit a couple of places between here and town, and then it took out a great portion of the south side of Tecumseh. It hit Barnard school and damaged three classrooms. It hit the board of education office and bus barn and completely wiped out a couple of neighborhoods.
We did what we could last night and then began work early this morning. We would be working hard and then look up and see people helping that we haven't seen in quite a while. One lady stopped and said she was headed to the grocery store and asked if we needed anything. All morning long we worked and worked and worked. It didn't take long until we were seeing a light at the end of today's tunnel.
When we finished at Aunt Polly's, we helped her nieces and nephews on the O'Neal side clean up their mom's house. Their mom passed away around Easter, so they are having to clean up her house much sooner than they thought. Her house had so much more damage than Aunt Polly's, but when dozens of hands are working, progress is quick.
Now, this is what I learned from this tornado.
1. Cold water is my friend. I went to the grocery store and bought two cases this morning. Nothing is as refreshing as really cold water when you are hot and tired, and the humidity is 90%.
2. People are weird. I was absolutely amazed at the sight-seers. Never in my wildest dreams would I drive to another city that has been hit by a tornado and drive around take pictures.
3. People are wonderful. I was also amazed at the kindness of so many people. Many of them worked at her house until they saw that we had things under control. Then they went on to help someone else. The Pentecostal Church of God set us a kitchen to feed those who needed a meal. The story is that they plan to feed 750 for breakfast in the morning. Harrah Church where I attend also has been set up as a shelter and are providing food, clothing, and a cool cup of water to those in need.
4. Nature is in control. We can use precautions, we can plan, and we can plot, and we can think that we have things in our control, but days like yesterday remind me that we are not in control. There was nothing we could have done yesterday to protect the property that was damaged.
5. Most Oklahomans are smart and respect the weather. We have the very best weather service in the nation. The National Weather Service in Norman will give us a time-table that tells the exact minute that the tornado will hit our town. We know how to protect our lives in the face of a tornado. There were some fatalities, but compared to the numbers in other states, our fatality rate is very low.
6. God is good. I didn't really learn this today, but it is a truth that needs repeating.
We did what we could last night and then began work early this morning. We would be working hard and then look up and see people helping that we haven't seen in quite a while. One lady stopped and said she was headed to the grocery store and asked if we needed anything. All morning long we worked and worked and worked. It didn't take long until we were seeing a light at the end of today's tunnel.
When we finished at Aunt Polly's, we helped her nieces and nephews on the O'Neal side clean up their mom's house. Their mom passed away around Easter, so they are having to clean up her house much sooner than they thought. Her house had so much more damage than Aunt Polly's, but when dozens of hands are working, progress is quick.
Now, this is what I learned from this tornado.
1. Cold water is my friend. I went to the grocery store and bought two cases this morning. Nothing is as refreshing as really cold water when you are hot and tired, and the humidity is 90%.
2. People are weird. I was absolutely amazed at the sight-seers. Never in my wildest dreams would I drive to another city that has been hit by a tornado and drive around take pictures.
3. People are wonderful. I was also amazed at the kindness of so many people. Many of them worked at her house until they saw that we had things under control. Then they went on to help someone else. The Pentecostal Church of God set us a kitchen to feed those who needed a meal. The story is that they plan to feed 750 for breakfast in the morning. Harrah Church where I attend also has been set up as a shelter and are providing food, clothing, and a cool cup of water to those in need.
4. Nature is in control. We can use precautions, we can plan, and we can plot, and we can think that we have things in our control, but days like yesterday remind me that we are not in control. There was nothing we could have done yesterday to protect the property that was damaged.
5. Most Oklahomans are smart and respect the weather. We have the very best weather service in the nation. The National Weather Service in Norman will give us a time-table that tells the exact minute that the tornado will hit our town. We know how to protect our lives in the face of a tornado. There were some fatalities, but compared to the numbers in other states, our fatality rate is very low.
6. God is good. I didn't really learn this today, but it is a truth that needs repeating.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Thank you Beth Moore
I'm almost finished with Beth Moore's So Long, Insecurity. I arrived home from the funeral today and decided to rest and read for a few minutes. This is the passage that I started with:
God has promised that His grace will be given according to our need and that not only will we survive by the skin of our teeth, if we trust Him and hang on to Him for dear life--grieving, yes, but as those who have hope--we will also thrive again. We can give ourselves to something greater than painlessness. We can give ourselves to purpose. If we cooperate, good will indeed come to us and others around us, and glory will most assuredly come to God. Otherwise, He would have forbidden the tragedy. Those of us who are in Christ will also spend eternity with the loved ones who have shared our faith, and this life will seem like a vapor in comparison.
That, along with the loving service today, was just what I needed.
God has promised that His grace will be given according to our need and that not only will we survive by the skin of our teeth, if we trust Him and hang on to Him for dear life--grieving, yes, but as those who have hope--we will also thrive again. We can give ourselves to something greater than painlessness. We can give ourselves to purpose. If we cooperate, good will indeed come to us and others around us, and glory will most assuredly come to God. Otherwise, He would have forbidden the tragedy. Those of us who are in Christ will also spend eternity with the loved ones who have shared our faith, and this life will seem like a vapor in comparison.
That, along with the loving service today, was just what I needed.
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