Friday, July 20, 2012

Heaven and Back

I was watching the Today Show this week and saw an interview with Dr. Mary Neal who wrote a book called Heaven and Back. Those of you who know me know that I am obsessed with heaven. I want to know where Jason is, what he is experiencing, but I haven't been candid about one of the burning questions in my mind since his death. What did he experience on that lonely Nebraska highway? Was he scared? Was he aware of what was happening? If so, did he feel regret, sadness, joy? This woman is highly educated, an orthopedic surgeon, and her to heaven and back experience is unlike any I have ever read. She was under water for 15 minutes, so her experience can't be explained the way others have been. Many believe that the "follow the light" kind of experiences are physiological or psychological, the body's and mind's coping mechanism. She adamantly disregards that because she is a scientist and knows that there's no way her body could have come back from being under water for 15 minutes. The best thing I read was her experience of being escorted to Heaven by angelic beings, of not being at all frightened, of wanting to keep going, and of thinking that she had a choice of whether to go back or continue. I have a difficult time thinking about Jason wanting to leave us, but my logical mind that knew him well thinks that that's a possibility, especially if his reception team included his grandad, his granny and pa, my sisters, and Andrea Sigman, his high school love. He had experienced so many losses in his life, significant losses. What did he have here? He had a family who loved him, but at the moment of choice, he may have realized that we will all join him someday. Time in heaven, according to all I've read, is not like time here. From the accounts I've read, minutes in heaven feel like hours on earth. If that is true, did he know that he was only going to be in heaven a matter of weeks before we would all join him? Was he so drawn by those who loved him in the purity of heaven that he was able to leave this fallen world? At first, thinking that he had a choice hurt my feelings, but I've been pondering. What would my choice be? If I were looking into eternity and I saw my parents, sisters, and Jason, would I be able to turn back. I don't want to leave this life. I still have things to do, I still have two children and a husband that I want to share this life with, but what a temptation. Leave the cares, worries, tragedies of this life in exchange for heaven. I can't tell her entire story, but I highly recommend it. I have an abiding faith, so I don't need proof that all I believe is true, but I do like to read stories like hers. I don't think anyone would write a story like hers if they weren't convinced that their story is one that must be told. Why would a woman of science expose herself to the scrutiny and skepticism that surely will come her way? I'm thankful for her courage.

2 comments:

Teresa said...

Those are all interesting and understandable questions. My aunt, who I was close to growing up, had one of those experiences where she was medically dead and came back. She reported an experience similar to this doctor's but not identical. I tend to believe that each person's experience -- being escorted, getting a choice, etc. -- is unique to that person. God knows us to our subatomic particles so it just seems right that we'd each have our own experience of heaven. The only constants I've heard in these stories are an overwhelming sense of love and peace, which is my concept of God. Other than that one thing, I'm wondering if we don't all get our own heaven experience.

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