What a treat.

I go to church each week in anticipation. We are in between pastors right now, so we don't always know who will be speaking. This morning I was pleasantly surprised by a blast from the not so distant past. Kenny Myers who was my pastor at Tecumseh was our guest speaker. I've missed his sermons so much. He is funny and wise (should I add "beyond his years"), but what rings true from him in every sermon I have heard him preach is that he has a heart for Jesus. He knows what is important, and he stays with that message. Following Jesus is all that matters.
Today he used the example of the disciples who had been following John the Baptist but immediately left John and began following Jesus when they met Him. He asked us who we were following. In the two years since Jason's death, I have read everything I can find from the Christian perspective about grief. I have attended Bible Studies and searched for answers. I have read blogs, facebook entries, magazine articles, and all tell me the same thing. Time is the great healer; however, I really wanted more than that. I want a step-by-step procedure to survive this trial. Guess what? It doesn't exist. This is what is important. Jesus, the incarnate God, came to earth, lived, preached, died, and rose again so that I could survive this unimaginable loss. Jason believed that; therefore, he Lives in heaven. I believe that; therefore, I will someday join him in heaven. I want to live my life so that anyone who doesn't believe that will see a difference in me and how I handle this life and will want to know about the God I serve.
Will I ever get beyond my grief on this earth, probably not. Jason was my child, my baby, my little boy, my kid, my son. His death left a huge gap in my family, but there is no gap in my heart because I still love him the same today as I did the day he was born. For me he still exists. I've read the books, I listened to the songs, I've talked to others who have traveled this road, and all tell me to keep my eyes on what's important.
Today's message reinforced all that I have learned in the past two years. Thank you, God, for sending your man to preach a message just for me. I know there were hundreds of people in the service, but the message was mine.