We constantly tell kids not to give in to peer pressure, but guess what? I cave in to peer pressure every week at least once. I don't have a problem with caving on the things we warn kids about. I don't drink, not because I think it is a sin. I just don't drink. I don't smoke because I spent the first 18 years of my life breathing in second hand smoke and going to school every day smelling like an ashtray because my dad smoked. When I finally starting breathing fresh air, I became determined to continue to take care of my lungs. I won't follow someone into breaking the law or doing something immoral. My problem is one of attitude.
We discussed this in my Sunday School class this morning and then the preacher mentioned the same thing in the sermon. I think God is trying to tell me something.
I am very easily swayed when I'm around someone with a negative attitude. I can be in a decent mood when someone I'm around starts talking about how horrible our society is, how much worse kids today are, how much things have changed in a very short time, how teachers are in a no win situation today....and I will join right in. Pretty soon, I'm hating my job, regretting my choice of careers, dreading entering the classroom.
I can go visit someone and be in a perfectly good mood, and then the conversation turns to someone who has done something to make me mad. Usually this person has not hurt me but someone I love. I will join right in to the conversation until, by the time I leave, I'm angry all over again. I'm a fool.
I can get on Facebook and be looking for the funny posts that I love so much concerning life and living. Suddenly, someone posts some statistic or fact that is negative, someone else posts some anti-(fill in the blank) tirade, some political misinformation, whatever, and I am either joining in or arguing in my head with them. I have learned not to type my arguments in. Facebook is supposed to be fun; if it isn't, I'm getting off.
I'm going to make myself a list of Commandments.
I shall not surround yourself with negative people.
I shall not sit at a lunch table with people who want to talk about anything serious.
I shall not enter into an argument on Facebook.
I shall not allow another person to determine my attitude or remind me of the things that I need to forget.
I shall remember that I am a child of God, saved by grace, on my way to heaven.
I shall remember that I have been blessed beyond measure with healthy, happy children. Although we lost Jason from this earthly life, my future with him is secure.
I shall remember that I will spend eternity with the Savior that I worship and the family that I love.
I shall remember that Attitude is the Mind's paintbrush, it can color any situation.
(I didn't write that one myself. It's on a poster that has been in my classroom for several years.) I choose to paint my mind with pretty, positive colors. I'm not going to allow anyone to put those dark, dreary colors into my mind.
Good Lord, I'm almost fifty-six years old. When will I get this stuff right? How many times do I post something like this and wonder why it has taken me so long to realize this? I pride myself in being a life-long learner, but I wish I hadn't taken so long to learn, and relearn, so many life lessons.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Sunday, October 10, 2010
What a treat.
I go to church each week in anticipation. We are in between pastors right now, so we don't always know who will be speaking. This morning I was pleasantly surprised by a blast from the not so distant past. Kenny Myers who was my pastor at Tecumseh was our guest speaker. I've missed his sermons so much. He is funny and wise (should I add "beyond his years"), but what rings true from him in every sermon I have heard him preach is that he has a heart for Jesus. He knows what is important, and he stays with that message. Following Jesus is all that matters.
Today he used the example of the disciples who had been following John the Baptist but immediately left John and began following Jesus when they met Him. He asked us who we were following. In the two years since Jason's death, I have read everything I can find from the Christian perspective about grief. I have attended Bible Studies and searched for answers. I have read blogs, facebook entries, magazine articles, and all tell me the same thing. Time is the great healer; however, I really wanted more than that. I want a step-by-step procedure to survive this trial. Guess what? It doesn't exist. This is what is important. Jesus, the incarnate God, came to earth, lived, preached, died, and rose again so that I could survive this unimaginable loss. Jason believed that; therefore, he Lives in heaven. I believe that; therefore, I will someday join him in heaven. I want to live my life so that anyone who doesn't believe that will see a difference in me and how I handle this life and will want to know about the God I serve.
Will I ever get beyond my grief on this earth, probably not. Jason was my child, my baby, my little boy, my kid, my son. His death left a huge gap in my family, but there is no gap in my heart because I still love him the same today as I did the day he was born. For me he still exists. I've read the books, I listened to the songs, I've talked to others who have traveled this road, and all tell me to keep my eyes on what's important.
Today's message reinforced all that I have learned in the past two years. Thank you, God, for sending your man to preach a message just for me. I know there were hundreds of people in the service, but the message was mine.
Today he used the example of the disciples who had been following John the Baptist but immediately left John and began following Jesus when they met Him. He asked us who we were following. In the two years since Jason's death, I have read everything I can find from the Christian perspective about grief. I have attended Bible Studies and searched for answers. I have read blogs, facebook entries, magazine articles, and all tell me the same thing. Time is the great healer; however, I really wanted more than that. I want a step-by-step procedure to survive this trial. Guess what? It doesn't exist. This is what is important. Jesus, the incarnate God, came to earth, lived, preached, died, and rose again so that I could survive this unimaginable loss. Jason believed that; therefore, he Lives in heaven. I believe that; therefore, I will someday join him in heaven. I want to live my life so that anyone who doesn't believe that will see a difference in me and how I handle this life and will want to know about the God I serve.
Will I ever get beyond my grief on this earth, probably not. Jason was my child, my baby, my little boy, my kid, my son. His death left a huge gap in my family, but there is no gap in my heart because I still love him the same today as I did the day he was born. For me he still exists. I've read the books, I listened to the songs, I've talked to others who have traveled this road, and all tell me to keep my eyes on what's important.
Today's message reinforced all that I have learned in the past two years. Thank you, God, for sending your man to preach a message just for me. I know there were hundreds of people in the service, but the message was mine.
Monday, October 4, 2010
Hair Bigotry
Psalm 71:18
Even when I am old and gray,
do not forsake me, O God,
till I declare your power to the next generation
your might to all who are to come
Gray hair--does it trigger respect? honor? humor? What do I think when I see someone with gray hair? Sometimes I think, do I look that old? Sometimes I think, I hope I look that good. I jokingly told my students today that gray hair is a symbol of wisdom and respect, but is it really? I let my hair go gray because I wasn't fooling anyone. I colored my hair for several years, but because I am blessed or cursed with healthy hair that grows fast, a color would only look good for about two weeks. Then my gray roots would show, and everyone knew the "truth."
My sister Phyllis was very ill at that time that I decided to quit coloring, and I was very stressed because the reality was hitting me that she wasn't going to get better. When you combine the genetic fact that my mom went gray early to the stress of watching my sister die a slow, agonizing death, my hair just kept getting grayer and grayer. I finally just gave up.
What is different about the way people treat me? Well, a couple of years ago, our Language Arts department attended a computer workshop, and the instructor stood behind me because she thought I needed constant help. In truth I wasn't the one that needed the extra help. It was my first experience with prejudice. It made me laugh at the time, but truthfully, it also made me mad.
One place I've really noticed that I'm treated differently is on the ski slopes. People gingerly ski past me; I guess they don't want to knock me down because I might break a hip.
I can remember my mom complaining that men could go gray and look distinguished, but when women let their hair go gray, they just look old. Does it bother me to look old? I guess not. If it did, I would color my hair.
Let's go back to the scripture at the top. God doesn't care what color my hair is. He will not forsake me, He will not assume that because I am gray that I am not as "sharp" as I used to be. He still expects me to declare His power to the next generation.
My mom was one of the most "young at heart" people I've ever known. I hope one of the many things I learned from her is to maintain the mindset that I have something to offer. God's message is timeless; I can't go wrong.
Even when I am old and gray,
do not forsake me, O God,
till I declare your power to the next generation
your might to all who are to come
Gray hair--does it trigger respect? honor? humor? What do I think when I see someone with gray hair? Sometimes I think, do I look that old? Sometimes I think, I hope I look that good. I jokingly told my students today that gray hair is a symbol of wisdom and respect, but is it really? I let my hair go gray because I wasn't fooling anyone. I colored my hair for several years, but because I am blessed or cursed with healthy hair that grows fast, a color would only look good for about two weeks. Then my gray roots would show, and everyone knew the "truth."
My sister Phyllis was very ill at that time that I decided to quit coloring, and I was very stressed because the reality was hitting me that she wasn't going to get better. When you combine the genetic fact that my mom went gray early to the stress of watching my sister die a slow, agonizing death, my hair just kept getting grayer and grayer. I finally just gave up.
What is different about the way people treat me? Well, a couple of years ago, our Language Arts department attended a computer workshop, and the instructor stood behind me because she thought I needed constant help. In truth I wasn't the one that needed the extra help. It was my first experience with prejudice. It made me laugh at the time, but truthfully, it also made me mad.
One place I've really noticed that I'm treated differently is on the ski slopes. People gingerly ski past me; I guess they don't want to knock me down because I might break a hip.
I can remember my mom complaining that men could go gray and look distinguished, but when women let their hair go gray, they just look old. Does it bother me to look old? I guess not. If it did, I would color my hair.
Let's go back to the scripture at the top. God doesn't care what color my hair is. He will not forsake me, He will not assume that because I am gray that I am not as "sharp" as I used to be. He still expects me to declare His power to the next generation.
My mom was one of the most "young at heart" people I've ever known. I hope one of the many things I learned from her is to maintain the mindset that I have something to offer. God's message is timeless; I can't go wrong.
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