Why am I so surprised?

I have had to start taking blood pressure medicine. Why am I so surprised? I'm 55 years old, need to lose 20 pounds, teach high school students... I'm really not certain why this has hit me so hard. One thing is that I had no symptoms. I went to give blood, and my bp was 194/120. It bothers that I could have something so wrong in my body, and I had no idea. I guess that's why they call it the silent killer.
I have always been healthy. I don't have to take medicine, until now, but the reality is that I will have to fact the facts. My body will not continue to work.
I am going to start writing daily in this blog because I'm afraid that some of my bp issues my be because I hold some things in. I hold tight to my emotions, my fears, my grief. I don't want people to look at me and think that I've lost it, but in actuality, I've lost so much that I must address those losses.