It's here--Christmas

We've already had two of our three family Christmas events. On Sunday we celebrated at Aunt Polly's with the Humphrey families. We have much to be thankful for. Cody, who spent six months in Afghanistan, is home along with his wife, Ashley. They drove in from San Diego Saturday, so we celebrated together Sunday. I've known for weeks that he came home unharmed, but I really like to see for myself that he is ok. I'm so hoping that he remains stateside in 2011. Kirby and Beth brought down pizza from a place in Piedmont, and we had too much food once again.
Sunday evening we traveled to Wellston to celebrate with Phyllis's family. I love seeing all of her grandkids opening the gifts that Papa Fred bought. We play Dirty Santa each year, and it's now possible to include all of the kids in the game. They are so very funny. There's not a mean bone in any of the young kids, so they don't "get" the Dirty Santa object. They just trade around until everyone gets something they wanted. It's always during the Dirty Santa that Phyllis's presence is missed the most. She was always the rulemaker each year, and we all just followed her rules. Ironically, Sunday was the anniversary of her death. We didn't mention that, but it was "the elephant in the room." I have to remind myself that she is in heaven and not missing us which is one of the greatest mysteries of eternity. We miss her so much. How could she not miss us?
Of course, Jason's presence was a huge void at both houses. Seeing Carson, Kirby, and Cody around the table with no Jason is painful. Then thinking how close Marty, Monty, and Jason were when they were growing up and seeing their families so grown up makes me miss Jason all the more. He was always a part of that Christmas and loved teasing those kids. Janna and Jason were so close as kids, but as adults they seemed to bond even more.
I guess we're all determined to celebrate the holidays despite the losses we've suffered.
I keep thinking of all the families in Tecumseh who are struggling through their first Christmas after the death of a husband, wife, child, grandchild, brother, sister, friend. We've had too much loss this year.
To the Fowlers, Tiffins, Cokers, Belvins, Vickerys, Bowlins, Trousdales, Wardens, I know that this year is unbearable. Our first Christmas without Jason was the most difficult of my life, and I've had difficult Christmases. I couldn't take a picture, I couldn't bake his favorites, I couldn't shop, I couldn't decorate. Fortunately, I'm surrounded by a support group of friends and family, so I made it through. Every family that I mentioned is strong and united. They will survive this Christmas together.
I am praying for all of these families, especially the ones who are grieving the loss of a child. We will never be the same, we will never celebrate a Christmas without a bittersweet memory of our missing children, but each year will be less painful than the one before.