Music

At Jason's funeral the minister told us to find comfort in music. I try to do that--I try to listen to "positive, encouraging" music of all genres. I don't have to just listen to Christian music to get positive messages, so I listen to all kinds of music. My ipod is very eclectic--blues, jazz, country, rock, folk, Christian. I don't like rap or heavy metal, so I leave that to others.
I have been amazed at the number of times in the last two years that I have found comfort in the music at church, on the radio, on a cd, on my ipod. Today one of the songs we sang at church was new to me. Get this, the refrain said, "The love of God is stronger than the power of death."
I need to talk to the people who choose the selections at our church and let them know that I appreciate that they listen to the Holy Spirit when selecting music. So many times in the last two years, they have chosen a song that has ministered to my broken heart. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I'm determined to make my life worthwhile. I'm tempted to hole up and pout, but I refuse to do that. I will make whatever time I have left on this earth good. I want to honor Jason that way. I think sometimes I have to do all the good he didn't get to do.
This week marks the two year anniversary of his death. My mind has been going wild with memories of the last time I saw him, the last time I talked to him, the moment I was told that he was dead, the days between his death and his funeral, his funeral. The days, weeks, month following his death. I'm going to be honest. God did something in my heart at first. In the early days after Jason's death, I really couldn't feel anything. The pain would have been so great that my heart might have stopped except that God protected me. By the time the first two weeks had passed, my heart caught up with my mind; I still have moments when I just can't believe that he is gone.