April 19, 1995

Today is the 15th anniversary of the Oklahoma City Bombing. Just as with all other huge events that we all remember where we were, I was in school.
I was in 3rd grade when Kennedy was assassinated.
I was teaching when the Challenger blew up.
I was teaching when my friend Patty was killed in the Edmond Post Office massacre.
I was teaching when the Murrah Building was bombed.
I was teaching on 9/11.
I'm telling you there is no worse place to be when a tragedy happens. Teenagers are highly emotional or unemotional. Some are overly sensitive and take on the tragedy as though they were victims themselves, or they act like jerks because they don't know what to do with their emotions.
Teachers cry. We try not to; we try to keep it together, but we can't. Watching footage of a building that has been blown up and not knowing how something like this could happen in America brings tears that can't be held back.
I remember so well getting a call from Teresa who told me that Anna Marie's sister, Jamie, worked in the Federal Credit Union and had not been heard from. I had already thought of Jamie because I knew that she worked in a credit union, but I never dreamed she worked in that one. Her body was recovered 21 days later--an eternity to the family.
Today I thought of her kids. Kyle was an 8th grader; Krista, a fifth grader. They were robbed that day of a young beautiful mom who loved them to distraction.
I thought of Anna Marie. She has children that never got to meet Aunt Jamie, how sad. I thought of Jamie's parents and her other siblings. I know that pain. I can't really imagine that 15 years is going to change the grief much. I know the family has had good times since Jamie's death, but I also know that every big event has a pall over it. Proms, graduations, weddings, births, among others have all happened without her. Because Allison was the same age as Kyle, I always thought of him when we were having our milestone events.
I watched a news report tonight about Timothy McVeigh, the OKC bomber. He showed absolutely no remorse all the way to his death. From all accounts he was a fairly normal child, claimed he was bullied by jocks in high school, went to the military and became a monster.
I think it was Tom Brokaw that said of the bomber. The worst thing that could happen to him is to develop a conscience; I don't think it ever happened.